Absence
by FrameofMind
Summary: Complete. It’s been eight years since Kagome left the Feudal Era. She has a steady career, a good husband, a comfortable house of her own. Everything seems perfect...until Inuyasha shows up.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha -- and unless I miraculously come into a large sum of money in the near future, I will continue to not own Inuyasha for the duration of this story...

**Author's Notes: **Well, you're not going to believe it—I'm actually starting a brand-new multi-chapter story. Wait, wait, wait! Before you run away grumbling about being sick and tired of year-long gaps between updates, let me assure you that this time will be different; because you see, this time, the entire story is essentially already written. I actually originally conceived of this idea as a oneshot back when I started it years ago, but once I picked it up again and really started writing it sometime last year, I realized it was going to be rather longer than your average oneshot. For awhile I debated whether I should keep it all in one piece or break it up into chapters—and I finally decided on the chapter method for a couple of reasons: 1) There were a couple of spots that really worked well as chapter breaks for dramatic reasons, and 2) if I post it as chapters, I can break the editing process into smaller chunks. Once a chapter is edited and posted, it's done, and I can stop obsessing about whether I should have changed that word or tweaked this line. What's done is done, and there's no changing it. It helps me stay sane (well, okay, more sane than I would otherwise be… —grin—).

Anyway, enjoy, and I promise to have the next part edited and out to you in a reasonably short time. I'm aiming at getting one chapter up per week, just like in the good old days when I first started posting here (—grin—). Oh, and in case you're curious, there should be seven chapters in all.

**Absence**

**Chapter 1**

Kagome rifled frantically through her purse, her brow furrowed in frustration as her glance alternated between the inside of the bag and the clock that stubbornly insisted on continuing to tick away the minutes. Where were her damn keys?! If she didn't find them soon she was going to have to take the bus, and she didn't relish sitting in traffic for a half an hour on a cold plastic seat. Besides, it was always so crowded and noisy at rush hour—and it would be nearly impossible to find one to take her home again in the afternoon. Perhaps she could call a cab—but she was so late already…

Footsteps in the hallway prompted her to look up just as her husband stepped into the kitchen, still straightening his tie as he went. He frowned slightly when he caught sight of her, seemingly surprised to see her still in the house.

"I thought you had some big meeting at nine this morning, Didn't you? Or was that on Thurs—"

"Nope, it's today," she cut him off, the irritation in her tone not lost on him in the least. "You don't happen to have a key to my car, do you Ken?"

Kenji shook his head 'no,' glancing around the kitchen to aid her in her search. Just as Kagome had resorted to hunting through the refrigerator to see if perhaps she had accidentally left them in there after a late night at work—she had been known to do such things in the past—she heard Kenji call out "Found 'em!" from the next room.

"Thank god," she breathed as he returned, brandishing the small ring of keys adorned with a replica of a little pink ball on a chain. "Where were they?"

"Hanging from the lamp in the living room," he answered with an amused grin.

She quirked an eyebrow back at him. "That's a new one—I wonder how I managed to leave them there…"

He chuckled. "Well you'd better get moving if you want to make it to your meeting on time."

"Right. Bye, hon!" With a quick kiss on the lips Kagome snatched up her purse and briefcase and headed out to the garage. Stowing her belongings in the passenger's seat and slipping off her heels to dump them there as well—it was absolutely impossible to drive in those things—she climbed into the driver's seat and started up the engine.

Pulling out of the driveway and setting off down the street at what was perhaps a slightly faster pace than was technically legal, she fiddled with the buttons on the radio a bit, trying to tune it to her favorite talk station. She'd never been the kind of person to get in the habit of either watching or reading the news, but she felt a sort of obligation to at least attempt to keep abreast of the goings on of the world, as any responsible adult should. So she'd compromised by listening to news reports on her daily commute and reserving her leisure time for things she actually enjoyed.

"…_nearly three weeks since the last incident, metro transit officials are still reporting a serious decrease in passenger count. The city planning commission is now being forced to speed up construction and maintenance operations on city streets in order to compensate for the increased traffic flow…"_

The voice of the reporter receded into the back of her mind, her words washing over Kagome without really sinking in. She was too busy and distracted to really care about the latest developments in Tokyo public transportation at the moment—except insofar as the cars and the road in front of her were concerned.

"…_in other news, an armed robbery at a gas station on the outskirts of Tokyo yesterday evening went from ordinary to extraordinary at the appearance of a strange young man who chose that particular moment to become a hero. Witnesses say that the man darted out from behind a nearby display rack, snatched the gun from the perpetrator's hand before he had a chance to fire, and snapped the weapon in two."_

Kagome snorted as the radio drew her attention once more—now _there_ was something you didn't hear every day.

"_The hero's identity remains a mystery, however, as he vacated the scene of the crime before the police arrived, taking the broken handgun with him. All eyewitnesses could recall with certainty was that the man had been wearing a red shirt and a baseball cap…"_

Her brow lowered incredulously, a crazy thought flitting across her mind. No—of course not. It was ridiculous. He wouldn't come back to Tokyo after all these years just to play Superman—and he certainly wouldn't have bothered with the baseball cap without her bugging him about it.

Nonetheless, she decided she'd had enough news for today and switched to the light rock station instead. Traffic was a little congested on the way downtown, but not too bad really. By the time she'd made it all the way to her parking spot, she still had fifteen minutes to spare—not as much as she would have liked, since it didn't give her much in the way of down time, but at least she wouldn't be late.

"There you are," greeted the exasperated voice of her boss, Hitomi Machida, as she rounded the corner and arrived at the door to the conference room.

"Sorry I cut it so close—couldn't find my keys," Kagome replied.

"That's okay—she's already inside. Let's just get this over with."

Kagome's wry smile transformed into her "diplomat smile" as she stepped into the conference room and greeted the stern-looking older woman who was already seated at the head of the conference table. Her dark hair, going gray at the edges, was pulled back into a bun, and the wrinkles that lined her face made even her neutral expression look like a frown. She did not rise as the two women entered the room and seated themselves on either side of her.

Hitomi gave Kagome a look across the table, signaling that she was expected to begin the meeting. _Fantastic_, Kagome thought. _When its good news, she gets to start, but when it's bad news, I'm it. Ah, the life of an underling_.

"Well, Yamada-san—first of all, your latest book was a joy and an honor to read, really it was," she began. She'd learned from experience that, especially with authors like Kimiko Yamada, it helped to butter them up as much as humanly possible before dropping the bomb. Sometimes all that butter helped dampen the explosion. "Your portrayal of the father was just excellent—he was really effective, very lifelike and well-rounded. And I was absolutely riveted by the scene between him and the prostitute, as they were walking by the river—it was just so moving. I had no idea what was going to happen next."

Catching Hitomi's expectant expression over Yamada-san's shoulder, Kagome shifted slightly in her seat and cleared her throat to move on. "However, there were a few things that we felt could be clarified and refined a bit. For instance, the part where the second daughter was trampled by a herd of goats while on vacation in China didn't seem quite grounded enough." _Meaning it came from the friggin moon_…

Yamada-san stiffened visibly, her jaw setting as she prepared to defend her work. "It is a metaphor, dear, for the relationship between her and her sister—the tensions they've built up over the years finally spilling over and crushing her spirit."

_Okay…but it makes absolutely no logical sense_. "I see—a valid point. But I'm not sure that's coming through clearly to the reader."

"It's not supposed to be clear—it's a subtle shade. If just anyone could see it, it would be pointless."

_Mm-hmm_… This was going to be a long day.

After nearly three hours of ego-stroking and eggshell-walking, Kagome was back at her desk with a giant stack of notes. She planted her materials on top of her desk to be dealt with a bit later and collapsed into her leather chair, swiveling to her computer and turning it on, now that she finally had time to get to her usual morning ritual of checking email.

There were a few from coworkers, asking her to look things over for them or simply seeking her advice, one from another senior editor inquiring about her progress on one of the other projects she was working on at the moment, a bunch of junk mail, and finally, an email from Kenji, just saying he hoped the meeting had gone well and that they should go out to dinner that night if she wasn't too swamped. She smiled to herself, typing up a reply:

_Love to—where did you have in mind?_

She began sorting the notes from the meeting into various piles until the little click from her computer alerted her to Kenji's reply:

_That little Italian place on the corner near your building—sound good?_

_Perfect_, she typed back. _See you at 7:30…_

Thinking about dinner was beginning to make her hungry. Glancing at her computer clock, she realized that it was after noon, and all she'd had for breakfast was half a Power Bar, so she called the deli on the corner and ordered a sandwich.

Shifting another stack of papers that needed sorting, the jingle of keys hitting the floor made her curse. She set down the stack and bent to retrieve the key ring she had knocked from the desk with her elbow. "No wonder I'm always loosing these things," she muttered wryly as she reached down to grab her purse, with the intent of putting the keys in it. But before she could do so, something made her pause, purse in lap, the keys resting gently in her palm, her gaze transfixed by the little pink ball glinting merrily up at her. She leaned back in her chair, her thumb running absentmindedly over the ball's smooth surface. It really was a very good likeness. If it weren't for the fact that she had the ability to sense spiritual powers, she might have guessed that it was the real thing.

God, it all seemed so long ago—like another lifetime, almost.

A knock at her office door brought her out of her reverie, and she glanced up to see the delivery boy enter. "Light tuna on rye?" he questioned her indicating the saran wrapped sandwich in his hand.

"That's me," she confirmed, digging through her purse and fishing out the necessary cash. "Here you are."

"Thanks ma'am," the boy replied, turning with a wave and exiting the office.

Kagome wasted no time in unwrapping the sandwich and digging in, continuing to sort her stack of notes as she ate. Beside her, the keys lay forgotten on the desk.

* * *

When Kagome arrived at the restaurant at seven-thirty on the dot, Kenji was already there and waiting for her at the table. "Hi sweetheart," she greeted him with a smile and a kiss before taking a seat opposite him.

"Hey," he replied, smiling back at her. "So how was your day?"

"You don't want to know," she said with a wry grin. "This project is really a bear—I don't know what to do with it. And of course, she's fighting us on every single suggestion—and she can afford to, because she's got the name to back it up. Never mind that she can't write her way out of a paper bag—but she sells books, and I guess that's what counts. This is one of those days when I really wish I'd gone to med school…"

"Oh come on, I know you," Kenji said laughingly, "You love that stuff. Besides, you know you wouldn't have liked med school—too much blood."

Kagome forced what she hoped would be a carefree smile at that, visions of massive stab wounds and miasma burns and severed demon heads dancing in her head. She couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt whenever Kenji unwittingly reminded her of his ignorance of her former life—but really, there was nothing she could do about it. What was she supposed to say? _"Oh by the way honey, did I ever tell you I spent most of my teenaged years running around the Feudal Era with a monk, a demon-slayer, a kitsune, and a grumpy hanyou?" _He'd have her committed—and rightly so.

"So, how about you? How are things at work?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Fine, fine—a couple of clients are breathing down our necks about a few investments that aren't doing as well as expected, but that's just the way it goes. Other than that, nothing worth mentioning." He paused, peering into her distracted eyes with mild concern. "Hey—do you feel alright?"

"Hm? Oh, yes—yes, I'm fine," she assured him, "Just a little tired I guess."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure—don't worry about it."

"Alright. Listen, I was thinking this afternoon, in between irate phone calls—what do you say you and I take a trip? You know, take Friday off some week here and get out of town for a few days?"

"Oh I don't know—with this new project just getting underway I'm going to be awfully busy for the next few weeks…" Kagome replied.

"Come on," he urged, covering her hand with his. "It'll be just what the doctor ordered. You said you were tired, after all. Hey—remember that ski trip we took two years ago, a few months after the wedding?"

A fond smile spread across her face. "I remember…"

"It'll be just like that," Kenji declared. "It's still not too late to catch the spring skiing season up north. Think about it: A nice, cozy little condo with a big stone fireplace, the snow all around…"

Kagome released a small moan. "I still don't know—I just don't know if I can spare the time right now…"

"Come on, Kagome," her husband coaxed, this time in a slightly more serious voice. "I really think we need this. It feels like…I don't know. Sometimes it feels like…"

Her brow lowered into a mild frown of concern. "Like what?"

He ran his thumb over her knuckles, staring at her hand in his. "Like you're slipping away from me, or something," he finished, lifting his eyes to hers. "Or worse—like maybe…you were never quite here in the first place."

She felt a wave of guilt wash over her—because sometimes she couldn't help wondering the same thing. But she pushed those fears aside, scolding herself for having allowed them back in in the first place. Of course she was here—this was her life. Where else would she be? "Oh Kenji—god, I'm so sorry," she apologized, covering his hand with her own and squeezing it gently. "Look—I know my work has been taking up a lot of my time these days, but if it's really upsetting you, I promise to make time for us more often, alright?"

He smiled back at her, lacing his fingers with hers. "Alright."

* * *

Late that night, Kagome blinked sleepily into the darkness, trying to figure out what had woken her. Then she heard it—a scuffling sound coming from downstairs, accompanied by a few sharp 'yip's. She frowned. Then there was a loud clatter, like a stack of pots and pans toppling to the ground, followed by more scuffling, and the patter of tiny paws skittering across a hardwood floor. Apparently something or other had spooked the dog. Beside her Kenji stirred, but didn't wake, so Kagome slipped out of bed to go investigate.

Shrugging her terry cloth robe on over her pajamas to keep away the chill of the night, she stumbled drowsily through the darkness, blinking the sleep from her eyes. She had to bite her lip to suppress a curse when she rammed her big toe against the doorjamb, and she glanced back toward Kenji to see if the noise had roused him—but he was still sound asleep. Moving a little more slowly and fumbling with the tie of her robe, she crept out into the hall to the stairs. Once she reached the bottom she began glancing around for their beloved pet. "Inuyasha?" she called in a whisper, making a little clicking sound with her tongue. "Where are you baby? C'mere, sweetheart, it's okay."

She heard the telltale click of little toes and the tiny, would-be-ferocious growl coming from the kitchen, where, sure enough, she found the little snow-white terrier facing off with some unseen foe. "There you are, Inu-chan," she cooed, kneeling before the obviously frightened animal and attempting to calm him by scooping him up into her arms and scratching his furry little ears. But the dog continued to growl, his gaze apparently locked on something over her shoulder. "What's the matter, Inu-chan?"

"You named _that_ thing after _me_?"

The voice from behind her startled her out of her wits, and she whirled around with a sharp gasp—but every last wit that had managed to hold on at the first surprise went running for cover when she laid eyes on the speaker. She let out a sort of muffled scream, dropping the little dog unceremoniously on the floor and waving her hands idiotically in front of her as though afraid the familiar intruder was about to pounce on her.

"Inu…yasha?" she whispered, the confident, headstrong, adult-Kagome swiftly vacating the premises, leaving behind only stunned surprise.

"In the flesh," he replied darkly.

"What…what the hell are you _doing_ here? How did you know where to find me? _Why_…?" The questions flowed out of her in a rush of near-hysteria as she tried desperately to make sense of what was going on. There had been a time when strange things had been commonplace in her life, and something as small as Inuyasha traveling through time to come see her had been so mundane it was practically cliché—but that had been a long time ago. Things didn't work that way in her world anymore.

"Whoa, whoa, how come you get to ask all the questions?" the hanyou protested irritably.

"This is my house!" she hissed back.

"So?" he continued, not bothering to keep his voice down much. "I'm not the one who picked up and left, just like that! If anyone's got explaining to do, it's you!"

"_Me?_ I told you why I was leaving—and I had every right to do so. And for god's sake, Inuyasha, it was _eight years_ ago. What the hell are you doing here?"

"Well I was—" he began, stuttering to a halt. "I mean I—oh fuck, nevermind that," he snapped finally. And then, in an obvious attempt to change the subject, he blurted out, "Your mother told me where you were."

"Why on _earth_ would she tell you that?"

"Because I asked her!"

"Again, I have to ask: _why?_"

"Because I needed you," he said simply, crossing his arms over his chest.

Kagome raised both eyebrows and matched his stance. "Oh do you? Well if you're looking for someone to shoot arrows and hunt for spiritual objects, ask Kikyo. I'm out of the Geiger counter business."

Inuyasha glared back at her, his golden eyes harsh and unreadable. "Kikyo's dead."

She rolled her eyes. "I know—that was kind of the problem, wasn't it?"

"No, no, you don't understand—I mean she's dead, gone, turned to dust, erased from the face of the earth."

Kagome met his gaze with sudden sympathy and realization. "Oh…"

"Yeah…"

She swallowed, asking quietly, "When?"

Inuyasha directed his gaze toward the window over the sink. "About a week after you left," he replied, his voice low and cold.

"And…and you didn't…"

"Go to hell with her? What does it look like?" he snapped back.

She could think of no reply. Except: "I'm sorry…"

His eyes flicked back to hers, anger mounting in them. "You should be," he accused.

"Now just what is _that_ supposed to mean?" she replied defensively. "It's not like _I_ killed her. I left so that you could be with her, for god's sake—no strings attached, no guilt! Don't I get any credit for that?"

"I never said I wanted you to go!" he argued, eyes flashing.

"Well I'm afraid the world doesn't turn at your bidding, Inuyasha—you'd think in eight years you could have learned that much. Then again, how could you be expected to learn in eight years what you couldn't learn in fifty? You're still the same selfish, stubborn, pig-headed jer—" All at once, the creak of floorboards above their heads had Kagome's heart racing. In the heat of argument, she'd completely forgotten about the man asleep upstairs. Come to think of it, it was a miracle he hadn't woken up sooner…

"Kagome?" the familiar voice called down from the top of the stairway, "Is everything alright?"

"Who the fuck is that?" Inuyasha questioned before she could stop him.

"Kenji," she whispered back.

"Who's Kenji?" he demanded.

"My husband," she replied automatically, immediately wishing she hadn't.

"Your _what?!"_

Kagome clapped a hand over the livid hanyou's mouth and pushed him backward into the nearest closet. "We'll talk later—now just please, _please_ be quiet!" she begged, closing the door and stepping away from it just in time for Kenji to appear in the doorway, a puzzled expression wrinkling his sleepy brow.

"Kagome? Is there someone here? I could have sworn I heard voices…"

"It was the radio," she answered, perhaps a shade too quickly, though Kenji was too groggy to notice. "Inu-chan got spooked by another dog in the yard and knocked over some dishes, so I was calming him down, and I thought I'd fix myself a snack while I was up. Why don't you just go on back to bed, sweetheart…" she suggested gently, guiding her husband back down the hallway toward the stairs.

When they reached the bottom step, Kenji nodded in agreement. "Alright, but come on back to bed soon, okay?" he said with a yawn.

Kagome kissed him goodnight and headed him upstairs. "I'll be up in a few minutes—you just go ahead and get some sleep."

Once Kenji was safely out of sight, Kagome returned to the kitchen and eased open the closet door to find a rather surly-looking hanyou standing with arms crossed behind it. "I still can't believe you named that little mutt after me. And why the hell do you keep calling it 'Inu-chan'?"

"Because _you_ wouldn't let me, that's why. And keep your voice down," she scolded.

"I'll do whatever I damn well please."

"Not in my house you won't. Inuyasha, I really, really don't have time to deal with this right now—can you please just go away and come back tomorrow or something? I have to get some sleep…"

"Yeah, right, I'll leave and then the next thing I know you'll have left the country or something."

"Oh for god's sake, Inuyasha—here, I'll tell you what: If you'll just disappear for awhile, I'll call in sick to work tomorrow morning and you can come back then. But make sure you don't come until after Kenji's left. And try not to let any of the neighbors see you…"

Inuyasha regarded her with narrowed eyes. "You promise you'll be here?"

"Scout's honor," she replied.

"Sc-what?"

"Nevermind—I'll be here."

"Fine," he agreed, and just like that he was out the window from whence he'd come.

_He's back for ten minutes, and already he's got me calling in sick again. This can't be a good sign…_

* * *

**A/N:** I can't believe I'm finally posting this. Seriously, I've been rolling this idea around in my brain for, like, three years now. Ah, catharsis… (—grin—) 


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **Well, here it is—see, I told you I would be better about updating this time! (—grin—) Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews—not only are they a wonderful treat to find in my inbox after a long day of classes, but they've actually helped me a lot in fixing some of the lingering problems of the story. In fact, the first scene of this chapter wouldn't have been included if not for your reviews. It's one I wrote ages ago, intending for it to appear in a slightly different place, but I ended up cutting it because it just didn't work where it was. But once I saw the kinds of questions you guys were asking, and what you got from the first chapter, I remembered that this scene existed, and I realized that (especially since there is now a chapter break here), this was the perfect place for it. Bingo! Problem solved, and I got to keep the scene—it had been a tough decision to throw it out. (Incidentally, this also means that this chapter is slightly longer than average—an added bonus!)

The thing is, I've been writing this over such a long period of time, and I've adjusted the story so many times, and written so many different versions of various scenes that even as I read it through now it's really hard to remember what's actually here and what isn't—and more importantly, what the reader is aware of when. It's all becoming muddled in my brain—but the feedback from you guys is really helping me to straighten it out. Thanks again! Alright, enough chatter—I'll let you read now…

**Chapter 2**

_He still didn't know. She wasn't too keen on admitting it, but she knew she was afraid to tell him. Not because she was afraid he would hurt her—as if she even believed he was capable of doing such a thing at this point—or even because she was afraid that he would stop her, because she knew she had the upper hand in that situation too. No, if anything she was afraid to tell him because once she told him, there would be no going back. Her decision would finally become real to her—and that frightened her more than anything ever had._

_She closed her eyes on a sigh and leaned her head back against the rough bark supporting her, adjusting her position so that it didn't tug on her ponytail. Her denim-clad knees were pulled up loosely to her chest, her arms linked around them, and she sat there merely enjoying the feel of the sunlight warming her face, even as the gentle breeze raised goosebumps on her arms. Wouldn't it be nice if she could just stay here forever? She'd planned to, once, swearing—in one of her more melodramatically idealistic moments—to stay by his side forever and always, despite the fact that she knew he was in love with someone else. After all, what could be more romantic than following the man she loved to the ends of the earth and back, consequences be damned? It was every girl's dream, to be in love like that._

_Every girl's dream indeed._

_Her plan would surely have worked perfectly, if not for one tiny little oversight—Kagome had failed to anticipate the effect that age would have on her choice. As time had passed and she'd matured, it had become increasingly clear to her that there was a reason that dreams were dreams, and not reality—because in the long run, staying by his side and getting absolutely nothing in return was not nearly as satisfying as she had hoped._

_She still loved him—of course she did. If she hadn't, leaving would have been easy as proverbial pie. It was just that as time went on she was beginning to understand more and more what people meant when they said, "Sometimes love just isn't enough." Sure, love was a start—but it took more than a one-sided love (or even a two-sided love, for that matter) to make a life. And as much as it pained her to believe it, Kagome needed a life._

_So what better time to start over than now, when she had just graduated high school and was headed for university? It was the perfect opportunity for her to put the past behind her and begin anew. After all, for some time now she had been wondering what she would do about her double life once high school had ended. Would she be able to maintain both sides of her existence once she'd moved on to the next stage of her education? She'd tried to come up with a decent plan for doing so, but she knew that if she tried, one way or another one of her lives was going to suffer, and she would be under more strain than ever. The only viable option had been to give something up. So she'd been forced to choose—her future, or Inuyasha's past._

_She was stalling, of course. But how could she bring herself to do it? She really didn't want her last memory of him to be an argument, but she couldn't fathom any other scenario. It was highly unlikely, given past experience, that he would let her go easily—but her only other option was to try to write him a note or something and leave without giving him a chance to protest. She didn't think she could bring herself to do that either—it would be like cheating him somehow._

_She opened her eyes to the sound of leaves rustling in the forest across from her, twigs snapping beneath heavy footsteps, and all at once her heart began to beat a little faster. She wasn't ready for this. What could she say? How could she explain?_

"_Kagome?" the hanyou's voice called out to her in his usual gruff tone, heartbreakingly guileless and unaware of the situation he was walking into._

_The girl in question swallowed her apprehension and did the best she could to affect an easy tone. "What is it Inuyasha?"_

"_Where's your bag?" he asked as he appeared in the clearing. "I was looking for those noodle things you always bring—we ran out, and I can't find your bag anywhere."_

"_It's, ah…it's back home," she replied._

"_But I checked all over Kaede's and—"_

"_No," she interrupted, "I mean my home. I didn't bring it with me this time."_

_Inuyasha cocked his head to the side as he regarded her curiously, almost suspiciously. He dropped deftly into a sitting position before her, peering into her face, and she got the distinct impression that he was looking for something more than ramen in it. "Are you alright?" he asked._

"_Me?" she replied, feeling her smile falter, but nonetheless determined to maintain the illusion. "Sure—why not?"_

"_You look sorta…funny," he answered, still considering her._

_She nearly snorted at his tactlessness, but she didn't have the heart to take offense. Besides, she had more important matters to discuss. "I'm actually glad you're here. I sort of have something I need to tell you."_

_He frowned, apparently uncomfortable with her tone. She didn't blame him. "What's that?"_

_This was it—the critical moment; the crossroads; the point of no return. "I'm leaving," she said quietly. It took everything she had not to turn her gaze away._

_Inuyasha looked back at her, somewhat puzzled. "But I thought you'd finished with your 'school'—you said you wouldn't be taking any more tests…"_

"_No, you don't understand. This isn't for a test—I'm leaving for good. I'm…I'm not coming back." The calm composure of her own voice surprised her—she'd expected to be in tears by now._

_Inuyasha's eyes darkened as her words sank in. "No you're not," he said firmly, getting up to leave._

"_What?" she questioned—it was her turn to sound puzzled._

"_I said you're not leaving, and that's final. You're staying the fuck right here."_

_The girl gave an incredulous laugh. "I think you're a little confused—"_

"_No," he snapped angrily, and the sharpness in his gaze when he turned back to her was startling. "You're the one who's confused. You are not going anywhere, alright? I'm not gonna let you."_

"_Oh you're not, are you?" she replied, her own ire rising as she got to her feet._

"_Nope."_

"_Well that's just too damn bad, because there's nothing you can do to stop me. And who the hell do you think you are, acting like you own me? I am not your property."_

"_I don't give a flying fuck—I'm still not gonna let you go, and I don't care what you say about it."_

"_Look, Inuyasha," Kagome said, trying her best to get ahold of herself—after all, she knew he probably didn't mean what he was saying…for the most part. He just had a habit of shooting his mouth off when he was upset. "I don't want to argue with you about this. I have to go, alright? It's not a question—it's just the way it is. I need to be in a place where I can have a chance at a life."_

"_What do you think this is, a fucking fairytale? You have a life, Kagome—right here," he said fiercely._

"_No I don't," she replied. "I have _your_ life—and even that belongs to Kikyo…"_

_He fell silent at that, perhaps stunned that she would dredge up that old argument at a time like this. Frankly, she was a little surprised herself._

"_Kagome," he began, more quietly this time, but she held up a hand to stop him._

"_No, don't—I'm sorry I brought that up. It was uncalled for. I just…I just wanted a chance to tell you goodbye."_

_She watched something play across his face, and for a moment she thought it resembled panic, but in an instant it was gone, and she was sure she must have been imagining things._

"_You mean you're…you're leaving right now?" he asked, his voice eerily quiet._

_All she could manage was a nod. Then, without ever really deciding to do it, she found herself closing the distance between them and wrapping her arms around him in a tight embrace. He didn't return the gesture, standing still as a statue in her arms as though frozen in place—but then, she hadn't really expected anything more. "I'll always…remember you, Inuyasha," she murmured into the fabric of his red haori, drawing in his scent for the last time. Then at last she turned away, resisting the urge to look back as she proceeded into the woods in the direction of the well._

_It was okay. She could do this. It was the right thing—the_ only_ thing to do. Wiping away a few stray tears that had escaped her eyes, she took a deep breath as she walked and reminded herself continually that she was making the healthy, responsible choice, and that once it was over, things would get easier. Things would be better._

_Just as she reached the well, not three feet from its edge, a rustling sound in the trees caught her attention—but before she had a chance to turn and locate the source, she felt a heavy weight collide with her from behind, two strong arms catching her tightly around the waist, and the sound of short, panting breath in her ear. "Please…" the breaths whispered, a note of desperation in them, "Please don't go. Please don't leave me…"_

_She closed her eyes. It would be so easy; so easy to just acquiesce to his request and stay—but deep down she knew that nothing would be different. Tomorrow she would wake with the same problems she had today, and she couldn't live with that. "I can't," she replied, and gently pried herself loose from his iron grip, taking the last couple of steps to the well and scooting over the side without looking back, without giving him a chance to protest. As she plunged into the depths of the portal for the last time, she glanced up in spite of herself to see Inuyasha's upper body appear bent over the lip of the well, and just as the world above her was disappearing from view, she could have sworn she heard him call out her name, faintly, as though from a great distance._

* * *

Kagome stifled a jaw-cracking yawn with the back of her hand as she bobbed her teabag up and down in the mug of hot water she'd prepared. As annoyed and apprehensive as she was about her reason for playing hooky today, she had to admit it was lovely to be able to just stay in her nice cozy pajamas and robe for as long as she wanted this morning. Her job was great and all, but she really, really loved being lazy too…

She padded over to the kitchen table and slid into her chair, setting the mug down beside the hearty cheese and onion omelet she'd prepared for herself, figuring she might as well treat herself for a change since she had the time. Taking a bite of the extra-cheesy goodness, she sighed happily and settled her chin upon her hand, gazing out the bay window opposite at the bright, cheerful morning.

So relaxed and preoccupied was she with her own thoughts of nothing that she didn't even register the footsteps approaching from behind—until who should appear beside her but Mr. Sunshine himself. "Morning wench," the hanyou grumbled, making her jump again.

"Quit doing that," she replied moodily.

"Quit doing what?"

"Scaring me like that. And don't call me 'wench'—you know I always hated that."

"Feh," he scoffed, "Why d'ya think I did it?"

Kagome shot him a glare, but chose the path of aloof silence over rising to his bait. Instead, she returned her attention to her omelet, taking another bite—though the heat had escaped somewhat, taking with it a portion of the flavor.

"Is _he_ gone?" Inuyasha asked with a minor note of bitterness, staring straight ahead out the window before them, his arms folded into his sleeves in his characteristic pose.

She glanced over at him before answering. "You mean Kenji? My husband?" She hoped it was eating him up inside—served him right. "Yes, he's gone," she finished finally, trying her best not to feel like one of those women in a trashy romance novel who has to shoo her husband out of the house in time to let her lover in the back door.

"Good," Inuyasha grumbled, and they lapsed into silence once more.

Taking a sip of her tea, Kagome mused curiously at the sharp contrast between this meeting and their encounter the night before. At least last night they had felt like, well…_them_. Now, in the clear light of day, it seemed that all the years that had separated them were stacked one on top of another to form a wall in between them. She hated to admit it, but a part of her wished they could go back to the more familiar arguing.

At last, she set her fork down on her plate and rested her forehead in her hands with a heavy sigh. "Why are you here, Inuyasha?"

"I'm here to bring you back to the Sengoku Jidai."

Kagome's eyebrows rose, and she gave an incredulous laugh, hardly believing her ears. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"Please tell me you're kidding."

"Do I sound like I'm fucking kidding?"

"You've got to be out of your mind—I'm not going anywhere. What, did you think you could just show up here out of the blue and kidnap me like back in the old days? I don't belong to you, Inuyasha. You can't just swing by and pick me up whenever you feel like it."

"I'm not just picking you up, alright bitch? Fact, if I had my way I wouldn't even be here in the first place—I tried to tell Sango you wouldn't come, but the two of them practically shoved me down the well."

"Why?" she asked, thoroughly confused.

"Because…it's Shippo."

Her heart stopped. "What?"

"He's in trouble. We think someone's kidnapped him, and we think who ever it is might have something to do with Naraku."

"But that's impossible—Naraku was destroyed, along with all his incarnations. How could he—"

"That's what we thought. But Shippo was away helping some people in a nearby village rebuild their houses after a demon attack, and he disappeared. The next day we were attacked by a serpent demon with a jewel shard imbedded in its forehead."

"A jewel shard?"

Inuyasha nodded gravely.

"But…how? Didn't you get rid of the jewel after I left?"

He hesitated. "Not exactly…"

"I don't get it. What did you do with it?"

"That's not important," he said gruffly. "The point is that someone out there has it and Shippo—that's all we've got to go on at the moment."

"Well…what do you expect me to do about it?"

"What do we expect you to do?" he repeated, bewildered. "Come back and help us find him, what do you think?"

"But…Inuyasha, it's been eight years since I've even touched a bow, much less gone gallivanting through the woods hunting for demons."

"So? Don't you want to help Shippo?"

"Of course I do," she said sharply, getting to her feet and taking her dishes over to the sink. "But how could I possibly help? I'd only slow you down."

"You can still sense the jewel shards, can't you—I told you, Kikyo is gone, and Kaede is practically bedridden these days. You're the only one who can help us track him down."

"But I don't even know if I can do that anymore. I mean, I'm eight years out of practice—and besides, I'm married. Aren't women supposed to lose their miko powers when they get married?"

"That's just a stupid superstition."

"That's what people in my world say about demons," she pointed out.

"Look, are you gonna help us or not?"

Kagome opened her mouth to reply, but no words came out. Of course she wanted to help Shippo if she could—but after eight years of sitting behind a desk it seemed unlikely that she'd be able to do much more than scream and hide behind rocks. She just wasn't the same person she'd been when she was a teenager. It practically gave her a coronary to have to cross a Tokyo street at rush hour—how could she possibly face down a demon with a flimsy old bow? And to be perfectly frank, it wasn't just the prospect of battling demons that frightened her. There were a few other things she'd left back there in the Sengoku Jidai that she wasn't anxious to confront either.

"I'm sorry. I just can't."

Inuyasha considered her from his place near the end of the island counter. "What happened to you, Kagome?" he said quietly, prompting her to glance over at him in mild surprise.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're different," he replied unhelpfully. "So what happened?"

A somewhat wry smile tilted her lips. "Nothing 'happened,' Inuyasha. I grew up—that's what happens when you grow up. You learn to be more responsible, and that sometimes you can't just follow every impulse as it comes to you."

"Yeah, well, if growing up in your era means you stop taking risks, you can have it. You used to jump off cliffs expecting me to catch you—now you won't even pick up a bow to save a friend."

Her expression hardened into a glare. "I'm going upstairs to change. When I get back down, I'm driving you back to the Shrine, and you're going to go back to the Sengoku Jidai where you belong," she said tersely, turning to leave.

But of course, he was not so easily gotten rid of. "And you're coming with me."

"No, I'm not—I'm staying right here where I belong," she replied coldly. "I'll be back in fifteen minutes."

It was a relief to step under the warm water and let it wash away the grittiness on her skin and hair. Unfortunately, however, it wasn't quite hot enough to wash away her troubles. As she massaged her lavender-scented shampoo into her hair, she kept replaying their conversation over and over in her head, thinking of what he'd said, what she'd said, and what she wished she'd said—and it made her madder and madder.

Didn't she want to help Shippo? Of course she wanted to help him—how dare the arrogant bastard imply that she didn't care about Shippo's welfare? But what could she possibly do? She didn't know the first thing about his world anymore—she'd only be in the way. And anyway, where did he get off accusing her of abandoning anyone? Wasn't he the one who had gone running off to Kikyo every other day? Wasn't he the one who had once shoved her down the well and tried to trap her in her world, whether she liked it or not? Who was he to decide when she should stay and when she should go? Eight years, and he was still ordering her around. Well fuck that—Kikyo or no Kikyo, he could go to hell for all she cared.

When she descended the stairs dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans and a grey sweater, it was at a decisive clip. She strode into the kitchen to find Inuyasha sitting on her kitchen table. Giving him a brief glare, she turned to the purse that was sitting on the counter and started rummaging through it.

He frowned at her. "What's eating you?"

"Nothing," she snapped.

"Bullshit. I know that look. You used to get it every time—" He broke off abruptly.

Too late—she knew what he'd been about to say. "And you wonder why I left," she muttered wryly, unable to stop herself.

She could see his gaze narrow out if the corner of her eye. "Look, I don't know why you're so mad at me—you're the one who—"

Kagome held up a hand, cutting him off. "You know what, let's not get into this again—I'm sorry I brought it up. After all, it's all ancient his—uh…that is, it's water under the bridge now." Her keys finally in hand, she hitched her purse over her shoulder and set off toward the front door at a brisk pace.

When she reached the front door and turned back only to find that he was still sitting on the kitchen table watching her, she said impatiently, "Are you coming or aren't you?"

"Yeah—sure," he answered, coming to meet her. She stepped outside and headed for the car before he had even reached the door, and he trailed after her, climbing into the passenger side as she ignited the engine. He jumped slightly at the unfamiliar revving noise, but made no comment.

"You can't sit cross-legged in here," Kagome informed him, "and you have to wear your seatbelt."

He put his feet obediently on the floor—albeit with a scowl in her direction—and fumbled with the seatbelt for a few moments before Kagome snatched it from his hand and clipped it easily into the latch at his side.

"I would have figured it out," he grumbled petulantly.

"Sure you would…" she replied with a weary sigh.

He clutched at the door handle when the vehicle suddenly began moving backwards and onto the street.

They continued in silence for awhile, Inuyasha occasionally jerking nervously whenever Kagome made a turn just a bit too suddenly, or when they seemed about to collide with another car as she merged onto the freeway. She knew he didn't generally take well to situations in which he was not in control—and it was plain to see that he was not, in this case.

Finally he spoke up again as the landscape sped past the windows. "I don't know why you're so angry at _me_," he mumbled indignantly, "It's not like I made you leave."

Kagome flicked her eyes to him briefly, but then returned them to the road. "You might as well have. And stop fidgeting—it's distracting."

"When you stop this death trap, I'll stop fidgeting," he shot back. "And what are you talking about? I _told_ you I didn't want you to go." Then he twitched edgily as another car cut in front of them just a little too close. "Fuck! Why the hell would anyone want to get in one of these things? Do people in your time have some kind of death wish or something?"

"That's rich, coming from you," Kagome remarked scathingly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She rolled her eyes. "It means you're one to talk about death wishes, Mr. I'm-going-to-Hell-with-Kikyo-when-this-is-all-over."

"Aw for fuck's sake, not this again…" he grumbled, putting a hand over his eyes.

"Well you brought it up."

"I did not!" he protested. "And anyway, I told you a million times, it wasn't my choice to make."

"That's bullshit, and you know it. You always have a choice, Inuyasha—all that nonsense about her life belonging to you was just another excuse for you to escape having to actually think seriously about your decision. As long as you could tally it up to somebody else's responsibility, you didn't have to face it. You didn't have to bother figuring out what you really wanted because you could always fall back on the cushy notion that you 'didn't have a choice.'"

"Well you didn't seem to think so back then," he pointed out wryly.

"I was fifteen, Inuyasha—what the hell did I know? And even back then, even though I knew I couldn't interfere—" she hesitated slightly, wondering if she ought to finish the thought—but Inuyasha turned to look at her profile curiously, and she knew she had to, "deep down I always thought you'd come to your senses eventually."

Inuyasha remained silent for a moment, waiting for her to elaborate. Finally he asked quietly, "Come to my senses about what?"

"Nothing," was her somewhat terse reply.

He wasn't buying it. "Kagome—"

"I said it was nothing—just leave it alone, alright?"

He did so—for about five seconds. "Well it's not as if I actually _went_ to Hell with her…" he pointed out.

A small, wry smile curved her lips, her eyes fixed on the road ahead. "But you would have, if she had asked you to in the end."

He didn't answer, and she took it as a "yes."

They drove in silence for some time, and Kagome kept her eyes focused on the road ahead. She tried not to think of all the old wounds his arrival seemed to have reopened—there was no point after all. As she had said, it was all ancient history—literally as well as figuratively. What good could come of rehashing things that had happened so long ago? None of it even mattered anymore. Kikyo was dead, the quest was over, and Inuyasha and Kagome resided on opposite sides of a five-hundred-year time gap. In a matter of minutes he would go back to his life, and she would go back to hers, and everything would be the way it was supposed to be again.

A crinkling sound broke the silence, followed by a repetitious crunch, and she turned to see Inuyasha munching on the contents of a bag of Doritos—something they never kept around the house. "Where did you get that?" she asked curiously, before she could stop herself.

He shrugged. "One of those little store places you always go to."

Her brow lowered suspiciously as she recalled the strange newscast she had heard in the car the previous morning, about the gas station robbery. But then she shook her head, returning to her senses. _Nah…couldn't be…_

The sound of jaws munching and the gentle hum of the engine beneath them filled the lull in the conversation a bit longer as Kagome's rebellious mind drifted back toward thoughts of the past—and then Inuyasha spoke again, in an oddly subdued tone: "Where did you meet him?"

"Who?"

"Kenji."

Kagome's eyebrows raised slightly at that, but she decided this conversation would be preferable to wallowing in memories she couldn't escape. "We met at school. I was a senior, and he was just finishing his masters. He's an investment banker."

Inuyasha raised an eyebrow at her, and she answered his unspoken question.

"It's a bit complicated—but it has to do with money, buying shares of companies and selling them to others for more money."

"Shares?"

"Pieces of the company. They give you a piece of paper that says you own part of the company, and then you make money by selling it to someone else for a higher price."

"Feh. Sounds like something Miroku would do."

Kagome smiled in spite of herself. "Something like that. Only this is legal…"

"Does he love you?"

"Miroku?"

He glared at her, and she gave a small laugh.

"Yes, he loves me. Very much."

"Do you love him?"

The smile disappeared from her face at that, and she wanted to kick herself for the hesitation she felt. But she chalked it up to the strangeness of having this particular conversation with Inuyasha, of all people. "Of course I do."

She just wished she had sounded more convincing.

But oddly enough, Inuyasha chose not to dwell on it. "What did he say when you first told him?"

She frowned. "That I loved him?"

"No, stupid—about us. About the jewel quest."

"I…I never told him," she admitted, unable to keep a hint of guilt from seeping into her voice.

Inuyasha snapped his gaze to her face. "You never told him? You never told him where you spent three whole years of your life?"

"Well it's not the kind of thing you just blurt out," she said defensively. "I mean…at first I guess I was waiting for the right time. And then it just sort of never came—and I guess it was just easier to put it all behind me than trying to explain it all to him. I didn't want to…scare him off."

"That's stupid. It's all true—why should it scare him off? It's who you are."

"Not anymore."

"Bullshit. It's who you were then, and it's who you are now. People change, but they don't change that much."

A brief silence fell. Kagome kept her eyes on the road, steering off the highway and back onto the residential streets. She could feel Inuyasha's eyes on her, his stare penetrating.

"Come back with me, Kagome."

"I can't," she reiterated, but even she could hear the uncertainty in her voice.

"Yes you can. You're the only one who can help us find Shippo, you know that."

"But there must be somebody else—"

"There isn't," he interrupted curtly. And then, much to her surprise, he added, "I promise I'll protect you. You won't get hurt."

She glanced over at him with a start, but immediately refocused her gaze on the road ahead of her, swallowing. _Can you protect me from yourself?_ she thought instinctively, though she quickly waved the thought away, disgusted with herself. And then she thought of Shippo. "Okay. Okay, I'll try."

They pulled up in front of the shrine a few moments later, got out of the car, and climbed the steps to the main house. Kagome's hand hesitated over the doorbell a moment before she pushed it.

"Why are we ringing the bell?" Inuyasha asked. "Why don't we just go around back?"

"I want to say hi to Mama—and I have to leave word with her in case Kenji is looking for me."

The door opened just then, and Mrs. Higurashi beamed at her daughter. "Kagome! Oh good, he tracked you down after all."

"Yeah, I heard you had something to do with that," Kagome answered wryly. "Look, I have to go over to the other side for a little while—can you call Kenji and let him know I'm all right? Just tell him I had to go visit a sick friend out of town and I didn't have time to call before I left."

"Certainly sweetheart. You have a nice time visiting with your friends."

"Thanks Mom," Kagome replied, exchanging a quick embrace with her mother before Inuyasha grabbed her wrist impatiently and tried to tug her off toward the well house.

"See you when you get back, dear!" Mrs. Higurashi called after them.

Inuyasha pushed aside the heavy wooden door of the well house, and the familiar musty smell wafted over Kagome, filling her with a mix of longing and trepidation. She descended the steps like a woman being led to the gallows, and peered over the lip of the well into the apparently bottomless abyss beneath them. When Inuyasha's arm curled around her waist and he prepared to spring into the time slip, apprehension flared into sheer panic. What on earth was she doing? This was insane. She couldn't go back there. She had a job. She had a husband. She had a mortgage. People with mortgages didn't go traveling through time and battling demons. It just didn't happen.

"Wait," she said, grabbing his arm to stop him. He glanced over at her with a frown. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea. Maybe I should just stay here."

"Feh. What are you, chicken?"

"I'm not 'chicken'—it's just…oh, I don't know. This is so ridiculous. I mean, I can still hardly even believe you're here. What if this is all just some elaborate dream?"

"Then you've got nothing to lose. On the other hand, if it's real, then Shippo really is in trouble, and we really do need your help."

"Well…you do have a point. But—"

"No buts—we're going." And with that, he swept her off her feet and leapt into the well, and Kagome squeezed her eyes shut, threw her arms around his neck for dear life and screamed at the plummeting feeling in her stomach as they fell.

* * *

**A/N:** In case you're curious, the flashback scene was originally written to appear while Kagome was in her office (in Chapter 1), triggered by the dropping of the keys and the sight of the Shikon no Tama key ring. I cut it from there because the trigger seemed too contrived, and I felt like it sort of stepped on the surprise of Inuyasha's abrupt return to have her ruminating on the details of their split before he showed up (not to mention that it would be a rather implausible and "convenient" coincidence… —grin—). I like it much better where it is now. Makes perfect sense… 


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **Alright, well, I haven't actually gotten as much done as I should have this weekend, but this chapter was in pretty good shape anyway, and I needed a break, so I went ahead and gave it the final once-over. Witness an unprecedented occurrence: three chapters posted in the space of a week! I think I like this whole "write first, then edit and post" arrangement… (--grin--)

Voila!

**Chapter 3**

Before she knew it, they were once again on solid ground, and she opened her eyes to see the vine-covered, sun-dappled interior of the Sengoku Jidai side of the well. Her stomach dropped again, and she clutched at Inuyasha's haori instinctively as he jumped out of the well in one fluid motion. Once he landed safely in the grass, she realized just what she was doing and let go, wriggling out of his arms.

"Put me down," she demanded, straightening her clothes and stumbling to right herself as her feet hit the ground.

"What's the big deal?" he asked. "I used to carry you all the time."

"I know, but I'm twenty-six years old."

"What, like there's an age limit?"

"Besides, I'm married. It's just a little weird."

He shrugged. "Suit yourself. Come on, let's get going," he said, heading off in the direction of the village. She readjusted her purse strap so that it went across her body from shoulder to hip and trudged after him.

It took longer to get to the village than she had remembered, but before too long the thatched roofs and quaint wooden houses came into view, and she couldn't help smiling to herself at the sight. Despite the lack of modern conveniences and numerous good, bad, and mixed memories associated with this place, there had always been something so peaceful and utterly simple about this side of the well. She missed the pace of life here—the clean, crisp smell of the air, the vast array of stars that filled the sky at night, the sunlight unhindered by buildings and pollution. The occasional demon attacks and wars and plagues were definite drawbacks—but her era certainly had its share of faults as well.

They passed a couple of houses, moving toward the outer edge of the village. Kagome noticed she was getting some strange looks from the villagers who were out and about—more curious than unkind. Did they recognize her? Probably not. It had been eight years, after all. More likely it was her clothing that was drawing all the attention. Jeans weren't exactly standard issue in the Feudal Era.

"Kagome?"

Kagome glanced ahead at the sound of her name; and there in the doorway of the house they were approaching, just a few meters ahead, was a tall, thin woman with long, dark brown hair. "Sango?" she said, stopping in her tracks, hardly believing her eyes.

"Kagome!" Sango practically leapt off the porch and ran toward them, and Kagome followed suit. They met halfway, throwing their arms around each other in a tight embrace.

Tears sprung to Kagome's eyes, and she laughed, sniffling. "I can't believe it's you. Oh my god, it's been so long."

"I know," Sango replied, grinning and swallowing tears herself. "I'm so glad you came—I was afraid he wouldn't be able to find you. My god, I've missed you so much."

"Me too," Kagome said, pulling back finally. "How are you? How's Miroku?"

"Fine—we've got two kids now."

"Really? How old are they? What are their names?"

"The oldest is six—his name is Mushin—and the younger one is four. We named her Kagome."

Kagome couldn't speak, so she threw her arms around Sango again, and they both cried some more.

"Feh," Inuyasha grunted, finally getting bored and heading into the house to do who knew what.

"So what about you?" Sango asked when they both got ahold of themselves again and turned to follow Inuyasha back toward the house, arms around each others' waists.

"Well, I don't have any kids, but I'm working as an editor for a book publishing company, and my husband is an investment banker."

"Your husband?" Sango stopped short just outside the door and turned to face Kagome, a concerned expression on her face.

"Yep. We've been married just over two years."

"Does Inuyasha know?"

Kagome nodded.

"How did he take it?" she asked apprehensively.

"Not too bad, considering," Kagome said with a shrug. "He was mad at first, but we haven't really talked about it much since then. I don't know what he expected. Did he think I'd just go off and die alone somewhere without him? Please. It's not like whatever we had together was actually going anywhere."

Sango frowned. "Have you actually talked to Inuyasha about any of this? I mean, there were a few loose ends leftover when you went home."

"Sure, we've talked about it."

Sango raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"Sort of. Okay, not really. I mean, we've sort of started to a couple of times, but we just ended up arguing."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Look, this is an awkward situation. I mean, it all happened so long ago—why dredge it up again? Maybe we should just try to forget about all that for now and focus on the problem—then I'll go home, and he'll stay here, and everything will be back to normal."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Kagome shrugged wryly. "It's the best one I've got."

Sango nodded. "Okay—if that's what you want."

"It is."

"Come on inside—lunch is on the stove. Miroku should be back any minute—then we can talk about Shippo."

They ducked through the doorway to find Inuyasha sitting cross-legged on the floor with two impish little children climbing all over him, tugging his ears and messing up his hair. His expression was ostensibly grumpy, but Kagome could swear she saw a hint of indulgence behind it. It was strange how easily she could still read him.

Miroku appeared in the doorway just as they were all dishing up their bowls of stew, and he greeted Kagome with a bright smile, coming over to give her a hug as well. She braced herself for the obligatory grope—but it never came.

"No grope?" she asked, surprised.

"Why Kagome, you know I would never do such a thing," he replied with a grin.

"Not with me in the house, anyway," Sango interjected.

"I see. You've trained him well."

"No easy task, trust me."

"I'm sure," Kagome said, settling back down on the floor and picking up her bowl of stew.

"I have to warn you, I'm not much of a cook, but it should be palatable at least," Sango said.

"Nonsense, your meals are fantastic, my love," Miroku said, giving her a kiss on the cheek as he sat down.

Kagome raised her eyebrows. "Wow. Really well trained. You'll have to teach me your secret someday—Kenji is always making cracks about my cooking." As soon as the words had left her mouth, she regretted them. Everyone froze and turned to look apprehensively at Inuyasha, who bristled stiffly at the attention.

"Feh. What's everybody staring at?" he said gruffly, glaring at everyone—including Kagome—before burying his nose in his stew.

Everyone went back to their meals and the conversation fell into an awkward silence. The minutes crept by, chopsticks chinking against bowls like jackhammers in an empty stadium as they ate. Finally, unable to take the tension anymore, Kagome spoke up, getting down to business. "So, what's the plan to find Shippo?"

Inuyasha was still preoccupied with his food, so Miroku answered. "According to rumor and a pattern of similar demon attacks, we think he must be somewhere northeast of here, possibly hiding out in the mountains up that way. We're planning to get on the road and keep watch for jewel shards and any other reports of strange happenings—hopefully we'll be able to collect more information on exactly who's behind this along the way."

"Sounds good. Do we know how this person got ahold of the jewel to begin with?"

Sango and Miroku looked at each other, clearly sharing some information Kagome didn't have. Inuyasha lifted his eyes from his bowl to glare at them meaningfully, and Kagome frowned. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Miroku said unconvincingly, still looking at Inuyasha in mild disapproval. "We're not sure exactly how it was located."

"Well, where was it?"

"We buried it," Sango explained. "We put it in a wooden case and covered it in ofuda for safekeeping, and then we buried it. We had hoped it would be enough to keep anyone but us from getting at it, but apparently we were wrong."

"I still don't understand why you didn't just destroy it like we'd always planned."

"Inuyasha had his reasons," Miroku said, though he was looking into his stew and not at her. Clearly that was all she was going to get from them on the subject for the time being.

"Come on, lets get going," Inuyasha said, getting to his feet and retrieving Tetsusaiga from where it had been perched in the corner of the room.

"I'll take the kids over to Kaede's," Miroku volunteered, herding the two little rascals out the door while Sango began collecting the dishes and clearing up the remains of the meal. Kagome watched Inuyasha sweep out the door, presumably to pace in the front yard, and then set about helping Sango.

By the time they'd finished putting things away and went outside to join Inuyasha, Miroku was already there—and he was carrying a bow and a quiver of arrows. He offered the weapons to Kagome. "I borrowed them from Kaede. I know it's not the one you're used to, but you should get the feel of it in no time."

Kagome hesitated, an irrational fear and peculiar anticipation filling her as she reached for the bow. It felt strange, but also oddly comfortable. "I'm so out of practice—I don't even know if I can shoot anymore."

"Well you couldn't shoot when you first showed up, but that didn't stop you from shooting that crow's foot and shattering the jewel in the first place," Inuyasha said wryly.

Kagome shot him a glare, but she looped the quiver strap over her shoulder and across her body where her purse had been before.

"Good," Inuyasha said, nodding. Then he turned around and crouched in front of Kagome. "Let's go."

Kagome gaped. "Are you serious?"

"Why not? You rode on my back for three years. You don't have your bike here anymore—you didn't think you were just gonna walk the whole way, did you?"

"I guess not," she stalled, "but seriously, piggy-back? Isn't that a little awkward?"

Inuyasha stood up and whirled around, growling in frustration and…hurt? "Look, are you coming or aren't you?"

She nodded slowly.

"Good. Now get on." He offered her his back again, and this time she took him up on it.

It was strange—but sort of nice at the same time. She'd forgotten what it was like to be this close to him, how well they had always fit together. And on his back, relieved of the responsibility of having to look him in the eye, she could almost imagine that it was eight years ago, and everything was back to normal.

Well, the old version of normal, that is.

The wind played across her face and in her hair as they took off into the forest, Miroku and Sango riding Kirara above them. With the occasional bursts of sunlight warming the shade, the breeze began to lull her into a doze.

She was jolted awake when Inuyasha took a sharp right turn, narrowly avoiding a spurt of poison that fizzled against the trunk of a nearby tree.

"Hiraikotsu!" she heard from above, and soon Sango's boomerang swung into sight, grazing the head of the massive serpent youkai that towered in front of them.

Inuyasha shrugged Kagome off onto the ground—making her stumble, out of practice—and unsheathed Tetsusaiga, leaping into the fray. "Kaze no Kizu!"

"Inuyasha, wait!"

He slashed at the serpent's now severed tail as it raced back to join the quickly reforming body. "What is it?"

"I don't know—just—I don't know what the hell I'm doing!"

"Come on, Kagome, drop the helpless act. Shoot it with an arrow and keep an eye out for jewel shards!"

"But I—"

"You can do this—so just stop complaining and do it!"

Kagome pressed her lips together nervously, gazing apprehensively up at the huge snake head swaying above her. But then she set her jaw, drawing on every ounce of determination and pluck she could muster, and nocked an arrow in her bow. To her surprise, it wasn't as difficult as she had thought it would be. She was definitely a bit rusty, but maybe not as rusty as she had thought. Taking aim, she loosed the arrow, muttering to herself with a small, sardonic smile, "Hit the mark."

Then again, maybe she _was_ as rusty as she'd thought. The arrow careened off course, narrowly missing Inuyasha's arm as he swung at the serpent again. He whirled around to glare at her, groaning, "Kagome…"

She replied with a shrug. "You told me to shoot…"

He rolled his eyes. "This is going to be a long day."

Kagome was in the process of nocking another arrow when she noticed a glimmer of pink in the beast's flesh. "Inuyasha, the jewel shard—it's in its side, near that diamond pattern about halfway along the body."

"Got it!" Inuyasha answered. Within moments the serpent had been Kaze-no-Kizued into oblivion, and they had located the fragment with the shard in it.

"Well?" Inuyasha said, looking at Kagome expectantly.

"Ew," she groaned, looking at the oozing, bubbling, vaguely vibrating remains of the giant serpent. The chunk with the jewel shard in it had ended up towards the middle of the gruesome pile, and it winked out at her tauntingly from beyond the lumps of pulverized flesh. "I have to get it, don't I," she said with a grimace.

"Before next year would be good," Inuyasha replied.

"Jerk," she muttered, but she screwed up her resolve and picked her way carefully through the muck. "Ick. Ick, ick, ick…" she intoned with each squelching step. This was _so_ disgusting. Finally she was close enough to reach, so she bent forward and plucked the jewel shard out of the carcass, purifying it in the process. "Whoa," she breathed, glancing around her in wonder at the now clarified pools of monster guts. "I'd forgotten how cool that felt…"

"Well done, Kagome-sama," Miroku said, patting her on the back as she returned to where they stood.

"Well done?" Inuyasha protested. "She nearly killed me!"

"Like anything short of an atomic bomb could kill you," Kagome said wryly.

"An ata-what?"

"Nothing. What next?"

"It came from that direction," Sango said, pointing into the trees. "There's a clear trail. Actually it's almost a little too clear."

"Like someone's leading us somewhere," Miroku concurred.

Sango nodded.

"Well it's all we've got to go on for now, so let's just follow it," Inuyasha said. As dubious as this prospect was, the others could not disagree.

They continued on their way for an hour or so, and Kagome noticed the sky beginning to tinge with orange—evening was on its way. They were far enough away from the village now that there was clearly no way she was going to make it back by nightfall. She wished she'd told her mother to tell Kenji she'd be away for a couple of days—she hoped he wouldn't worry. And then there was always work—that might be a slightly sticky situation to deal with when she got back. But she was pretty sure she didn't have any meetings the next day, so maybe no one would even notice she wasn't there.

Not likely. But maybe…

She shoved the stack of unsorted and un-filed notes on her desk to the back of her mind—she would worry about that later. The important thing right now was to make sure Shippo was okay.

Kirara swooped down so that Miroku and Sango were level with Inuyasha and Kagome.

"Inuyasha, do you sense it?" Sango called.

"Yep—it's a demon alright. Straight ahead. Just one of them though, and the aura doesn't seem too strong. Kagome, you sense any shards?"

"Hm? Oh, um…" she thought for a moment, trying to see if she could pick up anything out of the ordinary, "no…I don't think so."

"We should be on our guard anyway," Miroku said. "They might have found a way to mask the shard or even the aura to a certain extent, just to catch us by surprise."

They continued a little way further, and Kagome continued to search mentally for any shards in the area, but nothing came up.

"Oh my god," Inuyasha said darkly.

"What? What is it?" Kagome asked, suddenly panic stricken.

"Shippo."

She peered through the trees, her heart in her throat—and then she spotted him, a reddish-brown pile of fur lying in an upcoming clearing. "Oh my god," she breathed, tears coming to her eyes. "He's not…" She couldn't finish the sentence—and Inuyasha couldn't answer.

They arrived in the clearing and Inuyasha landed hard on the ground, both of them running over to where Shippo lay as the others landed behind them. He was noticeably older than when Kagome had last seen him—several feet taller, his features more boyish than childlike. He looked about twelve in human years. But it was definitely Shippo.

"Shippo," she whispered, stroking his auburn bangs away from his sweaty forehead. He seemed to be breathing, but he was unconscious and very weak. His hands were tied behind his back and there was an ofuda pinned to his chest, apparently preventing him from transforming or doing much of anything to help himself.

"Don't touch the ofuda," Miroku said urgently when Kagome reached for it. "It's a complex spell. I'll have to be the one to remove it."

Miroku knelt on the ground beside Shippo and checked his vital functions before examining the ofuda more closely. "Stand back," he said, raising a hand vertically in front of his chest and closing his eyes to murmur an incantation of some sort. The ofuda glowed electric blue, crackling with a malevolent energy that seemed to resist Miroku's spell—but finally the paper turned to dust, blowing away on the wind.

"Come on, let's get him untied and see if we can make him more comfortable. We need water—he's probably dehydrated."

Inuyasha slashed open the ropes binding Shippo's limbs and Sango passed Kagome a couple of water containers for her to start carefully feeding to him. Miroku and Sango both retrieved the couple of blankets they'd brought from home and prepared a makeshift bed for Shippo. When Kagome had managed to pour the contents of one of the water containers down Shippo's throat, she sent Inuyasha off to hunt down more while she fed him the other one.

An hour later, their patient was sleeping a bit more peacefully, the color coming back into his face, his breathing a bit stronger. The sun had almost fully set by now, so the group had decided to make camp here for the night rather than trying to get Shippo back to the village in the dark. Sango had built a fire and Miroku was busy cooking the fish that Inuyasha had caught for them while he was out collecting more water. The four of them sat around the fire, staring into the flames and inhaling the sweet aroma of fresh-grilled fish.

"It's been awhile since we did this, hasn't it," Sango commented, smiling and glancing up at the others. "You know, all of us, sitting around a fire. I miss it."

"Yeah, me too," Kagome replied, surprising herself. "I'm sorry I haven't ever come back to visit. I mean, I've missed so much—I don't know why I waited so long."

"I do," Miroku said in a would-be-offhanded tone of voice, adjusting the positions of the fish over the fire.

Sango gave him a look, but he didn't acknowledge it. "We understood, Kagome. You've got a life back in your time, and things can get…complicated here."

"Yeah, they can," Kagome admitted. "But still I should have come back. Maybe things didn't have to be so…complicated."

"Oh for fuck's sake, would you quit talking like I don't understand what you're talking about?" Inuyasha burst out finally, getting to his feet. "I know what you're saying—she didn't come back because of me. I'm the big fuckup, messing up everybody's plans. She couldn't come back because seeing me again would just be so horrible that it would ruin her entire life. That's what I do—I'm the life-ruiner. Fine. Whatever. Kagome, you don't have to worry about me—I won't be getting in your way anymore. I'm going to bed."

"Inuyasha," Kagome placated, but he ignored her, leaping into the branches of the nearest tree to sulk. She sighed.

Sango gave her a look. "You sure you don't want to tie up a few of those loose ends?"

Kagome shook her head. "I don't think it would be that simple. Every time you tie one up, another unravels. And anyway, what difference does it make? I'll be going home again tomorrow."

Miroku frowned. "You're not going to stay and help us find the jewel?"

"I can't—I'm sorry. I have work, and Kenji will be worrying about me—I just can't disappear off the face of the earth for weeks at a time like I used to. It's too complicated."

"Are you talking about Kenji or Inuyasha?" Sango asked.

"Both. And neither. Everything—it's just too complicated."

After dinner, Miroku and Sango curled up together with Kirara, and Kagome lay down near Shippo where she could keep a close watch on him. Over here, away from the warmth of the fire, she soon found herself missing her old sleeping bag. She briefly considered crawling under Shippo's blanket—but she thought that might be a little strange. It had been one thing for him to share her sleeping bag when he was little, but he was older now—and besides that, she hadn't seen him in eight years. It would be more than a little awkward if his first sight of her after all that time was when she happened to roll over onto him in the middle of the night.

She was just beginning to doze off, shivering only slightly, when something woke her up again. She blinked in the darkness, frowning and listening for whatever disturbance might have roused her—but she heard nothing. She was just about to roll over and go back to sleep, when she realized she wasn't as cold as before—there was something warm covering her. She lifted a hand to find out what it was, and her knuckles brushed against the familiar texture of fire-rat fur—it was Inuyasha's haori.

* * *

**A/N:** I love the ending of this chapter (if I do say so myself… --grin--)—I think it's one of my favorites. Not that it's spectacularly original or anything, but I love the juxtaposition of the feeling that they've grown so far apart with the sweet, familiar old gesture of Inuyasha giving Kagome his haori. I just remember when I reread this section after having been away from this story for at least a year or so, that moment (which I had forgotten about until then) made me feel all squishy and fuzzy inside. I love it when that happens…

Alright, enough meta-writing—I'll shut up now… (--grin--)


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **Excellent! I love this system. Once again, your reviews brought my attention to certain details and threads that needed improving, and this chapter is the better (and a wee bit the longer) for it. Thanks!

**Chapter 4**

The trip back to the village was uneventful. They moved a bit more slowly because they had Shippo still sleeping on Kirara's back, but all in all they made good time. Kagome and Inuyasha made no mention of the previous night's conversation or Inuyasha's haori. They seemed to have come to a sort of unspoken truce, knowing that there was a good chance that Kagome would be leaving again that afternoon. If Inuyasha held any remaining illusions that she would stay longer, he kept them to himself.

When they arrived, they brought Shippo to Kaede to be tended to, and the other four gathered outside Kaede's hut to say their goodbyes.

"It was so good to see you," Sango said, hugging Kagome tightly. "You'll have to come back sometime soon, once Shippo is feeling better—I know he'll be terribly upset that he missed you."

"Are you sure you can't stay, Kagome-sama?" Miroku asked—though somehow his inflection seemed to say, "Are you sure you don't _want_ to stay?"

Kagome shook her head. "I really can't. But I'll come back to visit as soon as I can, I promise. Maybe in a couple of weeks."

Miroku nodded, and she could see that he didn't believe her.

Finally, she turned to Inuyasha. Neither of them seemed quite sure what to do. A hug? A handshake? A kiss on the cheek? Nothing was quite right. So Kagome just gave him a small, tight smile. "Goodbye, Inuyasha."

He met her gaze with those startling golden eyes, and for a moment she felt like she could see straight through them into something dark and deeply painful—but then the shutters closed so quickly that she couldn't be sure she had actually seen anything at all. "Goodbye."

She gave all of them a final wave and turned to head back toward the well. The walk from the hut to the well, the trip through the time portal, the walk back to her car, the drive back home—it was all a blur. The whole time her thoughts chased each other around her head in circles, some only half-formed musings about the mixing of her two lives and the explosive combination they would make if she kept this up. But of course, that wouldn't be an issue, because she wasn't _going_ to keep it up. It wasn't until she set her keys down on the kitchen counter with a clunk that she really realized where she was—back in reality. But somehow, as when waking from a vivid dream, it seemed almost less real to her at the moment than where she had just been.

"Hey, sweetheart," said Kenji's voice from behind her as he put his hands on her shoulders, making her start. "Something wrong?"

"No," she said quickly, turning around and flashing him a smile to soften her response. "I just didn't expect you home so early."

"Things were pretty slow, so I decided to come home and wait for you. How is your friend?"

"My friend?" she repeated, wondering how he could possibly know about Shippo.

"The one you went to visit."

"Oh." Of course—she'd told her mother to tell him she was with a sick friend. "He's doing much better—he should be well in no time."

"Who is he? Anyone I know?"

"No, I knew him long before you and I met—back when I was in middle school."

"And you still keep in touch?" He looked mildly surprised.

"Off and on," she replied with a shrug, turning away again to busy herself with putting her keys away in her purse. "Actually, I haven't seen him for a long time, but when I heard he was ill I thought I should pay him a visit."

"That's nice of you, taking off work to go see him," he said, moving across the kitchen to rinse off some dirty dishes that had been left in the sink. For a moment Kagome frowned slightly, watching him carefully for signs of insinuation—but she quickly decided she was imagining things. He was just making conversation.

"Yeah, well—I'm pretty tired from the trip. I think I'll go upstairs and take a shower, maybe lie down for a little while." She turned to go, but he stopped her.

"I thought we might go get some dinner and catch a movie later."

She smiled. "That sounds nice, but maybe another evening. I really just feel like hanging around the house tonight."

"Well, we could rent a movie and order in," he pressed hopefully, and she didn't have the heart to turn him down.

"Okay. That sounds nice."

"I'll run out to the store while you're in the shower, and I'll pick us up something to eat on the way home," he said. "Any preferences?"

"Anything's fine with me—whatever you pick," she replied with a shrug, and escaped up the stairs to their bedroom.

She pulled the sweater off over her head and slipped out of her jeans, tossing both on the bed, and then moved into the bathroom to turn on the shower. As she waited for the water to heat up, she studied her reflection in the mirror—her hair was a mess, all grimy and creased oddly on one side from sleeping on the ground. For some reason she was struck by how old she looked—but she supposed the dark circles under her eyes from the restless night before didn't help any. Her skin seemed rougher than she remembered, and if she stared hard enough, she almost thought she could see fine lines starting to appear around her eyes—but then again, maybe she was imagining things.

The warm water felt wonderful against the aching muscles of her neck and arms and thighs. She took her time washing the grittiness out of her hair and exfoliating her skin. Yes, this was life—this was real. This was where she belonged. You couldn't go home again. Whatever had happened in the past what just that—the past. It didn't matter anymore.

The smell of fresh sushi and roasted chicken satays with peanut sauce wafted up from the kitchen as she descended the stairs. "Mm—looks delicious," she purred as she entered the room and began selecting her meal from the generous spread.

"You seem like you're in a better mood," Kenji said with a smile.

"Nothing like a shower to wash away whatever is weighing you down. What movies did you get?"

He pulled out a small plastic bag that he'd set at the other end of the counter. "_Cousin Cousine_ and _Sliding Doors_."

Kagome raised her eyebrows and couldn't help thinking to herself, _Inuyasha wouldn't touch either of those movies with a ten-foot pole_. But she quickly waved the notion away. "_Sliding Doors_, please," she said, giving Kenji a peck on the cheek. "I'll be in the living room."

They settled in on the couch together and turned on the movie, munching away at their dinners. When he finished his plate of food, Kenji set it aside and put his arm around Kagome's shoulders. She snuggled in closer to him, enjoying the warmth. When John Hannah caught up with Gwyneth Paltrow on the bridge in the rainstorm, Kenji turned his gaze away from the TV screen and rested it on Kagome's face. She could feel his eyes on her, but she kept hers fixed on the television, pretending to be so engrossed in the movie that she didn't even notice. She wasn't sure why, but she knew she just couldn't meet his eyes—not yet. When it became clear that she wasn't going to notice him on her own, he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, forcing her to acknowledge him. Giving herself a mental shrug, she acquiesced, closing her eyes and kissing him back deeply. If she didn't have to meet his eyes, it was alright—she could just be with him. They slid sideways so that she was beneath him, and he kissed her gently, lovingly, slowly. She had a feeling she knew where this was going—and she also knew she just wasn't up for it.

"Mm," she mumbled, pulling away and gently removing his hand from her shirt, "not tonight, okay? I'm kinda tired." She gave him an apologetic smile and rolled to her feet, grabbing a couple of the takeout containers to bring them back to the kitchen—but his voice stopped her as she reached the doorway.

"Is there something going on that I should know about?"

She froze, half guilty, half fearful. Without really thinking, she turned back on him and said, a bit more snappishly than she'd intended, "What, I don't feel like having sex and automatically you think there's something going on?"

"No," he replied evenly, "I think there's something going on because I know you. You're keeping something from me—I can tell."

"Don't be ridiculous—I'm just tired. It's nothing, really."

He looked at her for a long time, perhaps hoping she would break down and tell him the truth—but she played it cool, keeping her expression neutral. Finally he nodded his acceptance, and she breathed an inward sigh of relief. She was off the hook—for now.

* * *

She returned to work the following day to an overflowing email inbox and piles of notes and papers and problems to be solved, all right where she had left them. She settled in quickly, consciously blocking any potential distractions from her mind and beginning to sort through the backlog methodically. There was a strange sort of comfort in the familiarity of even the most mindless aspects of her job. It might not be as glamorous as it seemed it ought to be, and it could definitely be trying—but there was a certain rare kind of satisfaction in simply doing something she knew how to do and doing it well. And besides, the harder she worked, the easier it was to forget about things that were best forgotten.

It was around three in the afternoon when a knock on her door made Kagome look up—only to feel a pang of discomfort at the expression on Hitomi's face as she stepped into the room.

"Well," the older woman said, resting her hands on the hips of her tailored skirt as she came to stand before the desk, "I have to say, I'm a little disappointed."

There was no question as to what she was talking about. "I know—I'm really sorry, but something came up, and I just couldn't—"

But Hitomi interrupted her, firmly though not unkindly, "I know, I understand—these things happen. But I don't think I should have to remind you that it took a lot of long months of hard work and ass-kissing to lure Ms. Yamada away from her old publisher, and we're going to have to work just as hard if we want to keep her. This is a big project, Kagome, and if we blow it it's going to mean trouble for both of us. You can't just disappear on me for days at a time without warning. I need to know that I can depend on you."

"You can," Kagome declared, getting to her feet to look Hitomi in the eye seriously, "I promise. Really, it was a one-time thing, and everything is taken care of now. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

Hitomi gave her a short nod and turned towards the door. "Glad to hear that." Then she paused in the doorway and turned back to add, "Oh by the way, I'll need the marked version of chapter seven by tonight."

"I'm working on it right now—it should be done in an hour or so."

"Good—email it to me when you're done," she said, and swept out of the room.

As soon as she was gone, Kagome sagged, breathing a sigh of relief. Well, if some small part of her had still been toying with the idea of perhaps, possibly going back—just for a visit—it was out the widow now. It was clear to her after that conversation that her two lives could not coexist. It would be too easy for her to go back there and get stuck in fantasy land, forgetting about all the people who were depending on her back here. She had worked long and hard to build a life for herself—and she couldn't let herself throw it all away just because she couldn't seem to let go of the past.

Unfortunately, despite this resolution—which had seemed so clear and solid in the wake of Hitomi's exit—she still found herself questioning her decision repeatedly over the course of the next couple of weeks. She tried burying herself in her work—though she told herself that wasn't what she was doing—but somehow, while she was spending more time at the office than ever before, she seemed to be getting less done. She would pore over pages and pages of a manuscript, and then realize that she had no idea what she had just read. She wasn't exactly thinking about Inuyasha and the others—she wouldn't allow herself to do that—but they seemed to be occupying enough of her brain that it was preventing her from thinking about much of anything else.

The one thing she just couldn't resist wondering was why on earth they hadn't destroyed the Shikon no Tama years ago when they had had the chance, after all they'd gone through collecting all the pieces and wrestling it away from Naraku. She wasn't surprised that Inuyasha hadn't used it to become full-demon—she was pretty sure he had gotten over that idea long ago—but he could have used it for _anything_. He could have revived Kikyo or created a protective shield around the village, or even wished for a little girl's toy doll to be fixed—anything, as long as it sent the jewel out of existence, where it wouldn't hurt anyone anymore. Why had he left it alone?

Still, even this gnawing curiosity wasn't quite strong enough to actually convince her to return.

Kagome was curled up in her desk chair trying to get some work done one Sunday afternoon when a small "yip" from out in the hall broke her concentration. She glanced at her computer clock and saw that it was after four—Inu-chan's meal time. Kenji had gone in to the office to take care of a few things he hadn't been able to get to that week, so Kagome sighed and got up from her chair, padding into the kitchen to answer the snowy terrier's summons. He trotted up to her, collar jingling spiritedly, as she retrieved a can of dog food from the cupboard, and wagged his stubby little tail energetically as he watched her dish up the contents. Finally, she took the bowl over to the other side of the counter and set it down on the little rug they kept in the corner next to the kitchen table, settling down on the ground with her back to the counter to watch him eat. She needed a break from staring at the computer screen anyway.

The little dog gobbled up his meal as if he hadn't been fed in years, his little paws shifting occasionally so he could get a better angle, and she smiled to herself as she watched. Something about his boundless enthusiasm, particularly when presented with his favorite dinner, reminded her inexorably of his namesake—and despite her resolve never to think of him again, she couldn't help allowing herself the small moment of nostalgia. When he had finished, his little pink tongue lapped at the sides of his mouth, picking up the last traces of the feast—and then he swung his head to look at her expectantly, his brown eyes glowing almost amber in the sunlight slanting through the sliding glass door beside them. There was something oddly knowing in his gaze, and she got the distinct feeling that he had somehow been reading her thoughts.

"What?" she asked him irritably when he showed no signs of letting up.

He licked his lips again and shifted his footing, but merely blinked back at her, still waiting.

She narrowed her eyes in response. "I'm not going back there. It's ridiculous. I shouldn't have even gone back the first time—I only did that for Shippo's sake."

He cocked his head slightly, flicking a snowy ear.

"Don't give me that look," she scolded defensively, "I know what you're thinking. Alright, fine, yes, I admit that it was…interesting seeing him again, and I was a little curious what would happen, and yeah, sure, there are some things I'd still sort of like to know—but I'm not going back." She crossed her arms over her chest and looked away, but his stare drew her back. "It would be wrong," she explained firmly, "It would be unfair to Kenji, it would be irresponsible to leave Hitomi in the lurch, and it would turn an otherwise relatively simple situation into a big fucking mess. I can't turn my whole world upside-down just to satisfy my idiotic curiosity…can I?"

Inu-chan gave a small, plaintive whine, and Kagome deflated, heaving a weary sigh.

"Eight years, and I still can't say no to that face," she murmured wryly, reaching out to scratch the little terrier behind the ears, her thumbs subconsciously tracing the downy edges and giving them a little tweak. "I'm going, aren't I," she said flatly, looking him in the eye, and he barked in the affirmative. She laughed at that, giving his head one last tousle and resting her head back against the counter behind her with another sigh. "Shit…"

She was grateful for the fact that it was Sunday, because it meant that when she called Hitomi's office number she got transferred directly to voice mail. Cringing at the thought of the mess she would have to deal with when she got back, she left a brief message explaining that she would be out of town and unreachable for the next week—an emergency, a close friend who was deathly ill. She mollified her conscience with the assurance that once this was all over and she had gotten it out of her system, she would be able to return with no regrets and be much more productive than she had been lately. Holding on to that thought, she headed upstairs to pack.

Stuffing a couple of shirts into the duffel bag on her bed, she held the phone between her shoulder and her ear, biting her lip as she waited for the other end to pick up.

"Kenji Sakamoto," he answered.

"Hi, it's me," she said.

"What's up, sweetheart?"

"Look, I just got a call from the friend I was visiting the a couple of weeks ago, and it sounds like he's had a pretty bad relapse. I'm driving out to stay with him for about a week."

"A whole week?"

"Yeah, well, he doesn't have any family, and the friend who was staying with him before is out of town."

"Oh. Well…okay. Where can I reach you?"

"Um…well, he doesn't have a phone," she answered distractedly as she dug through her underwear drawer.

"Really? But you'll have your cell with you, right?"

"Well, yes…but it doesn't really get any reception out where he lives."

"Hm. Well you can give me the address, anyway."

"Uh, well, I don't know it offhand."

"But what if I need to get in touch with you?"

"If you absolutely have to reach me, leave word with my mother and I'll get the message."

"Wait a minute, your mother can contact you, but I can't?"

"No…not exactly. Listen, I'm in a hurry, I'd better get going. Bye."

"Love you," he squeezed in, and she mumbled a vague, "Mm-hm," in response before clicking off the phone and breathing a sigh of relief as she tossed it on the bed. She ran a hand through her hair, trying to ignore the guilty feeling in the pit of her stomach.

_I'm not doing anything wrong, really—I'm just helping out some old friends. And it's not my fault this whole can of worms got reopened again in the first place. I'm just an innocent bystander. I'm involved now, though, and I have to see it through. _

_Yeah—right._

She threw in an extra pair of tennis shoes and a first aid kit and went downstairs to grab her purse off the kitchen counter. Just as she was about to head out to the garage, she paused, waffling for a moment—and then walked over to the kitchen cabinet, opened the duffel bag, and swept their entire supply of instant ramen into the bag as well. _A peace offering_, she rationalized. Then she was out the door.

When she arrived back at the shrine, she ran upstairs to her old room and cast her eyes about—where had she left it? She checked under both her bed and desk, in the bottom drawer of her dresser, and in the back of her closet—and then she remembered. Dashing across the hall, she slipped into Souta's room instead. After coming home from the Feudal Era for what she'd then thought would be the last time and mourning the passing of her old life, she had given it to Souta to hide, so she wouldn't be reminded any more than she had to. But truth be told, he wasn't much of a hider. It only took about five seconds of groping around the top shelf of his closet before she found what she was looking for: her bow and quiver.

After that, she paused only long enough to tape a note telling her mother where she was (and letting her in on the cover story) to the front door, and then she made a beeline for the well. It wasn't until she had climbed out on the other side and slumped down on the lip of the well to rest that the adrenaline wore off and she began to feel real apprehension about her return. She knew this was something that needed to be done—she couldn't just leave things the way they were, or some part of her would remain stuck in-between these two lives forever. But that didn't make what was coming any easier.

Finally, when she had caught her breath, she hoisted her bag and made the trek into the village. She decided to stop off at Kaede's first, since she had only seen the elderly miko briefly on her last visit, and she wanted to check up on Shippo if he was still there. Besides, she figured it would be an easier visit than the other one she had to make.

She knocked on the doorframe. "Kaede? Are you here?"

"Kagome?" the old woman's voice came from within. "Is that you?"

Kagome ducked inside to find Kaede sitting by the fire, roasting herbs for one of her many remedies. "Hi," she said, with something of a sheepish smile.

"Kagome, dear! We were sure we wouldn't see you again for a good long time."

"Hope I'm not disappointing you," she replied, only half joking.

Kaede smiled. "Not at all, child—sit down, please."

"How is Shippo?"

"He's fine, much better—he woke up a few hours after you left. We tried to tell him to take it easy for a few days, but you know him. He spent too many years looking up to Inuyasha. Thinks he's indestructible."

Kagome smiled somewhat sadly. "I miss him."

Kaede nodded knowingly. "He misses you."

Kagome looked up—somehow she got the feeling Kaede wasn't just talking about Shippo. But the old woman's gaze had returned to her herbs.

"Where are the others?"

"Miroku should be at home with the children. Sango and Inuyasha went to slay a minor demon that's been pestering a nearby village. Shippo wanted to go along, but they told him to stay and rest—he's probably playing with the little ones."

"Have they found out any more about the shards and who is behind the demon attacks?"

"Not much. There have been a few more attacks in the same pattern, leading off toward the mountains. We're starting to think it may be a trap of some kind."

"But I suppose that's not going to stop Inuyasha from walking right into it if he has to," Kagome muttered wryly.

"Of course not," Kaede chuckled.

Just then the curtain over the doorway swept aside and a tall, red-haired figure stumbled in. He stopped short when he laid eyes on Kagome.

"Kagome?" he whispered.

"Shippo," she replied, getting to her feet and crossing the room to throw her arms around his shoulders as he wrapped his tightly around her waist. "You've gotten so big," she said, stroking his hair, "I could hardly believe it was you when I first saw you. I'm so glad you're alright."

"Feh," he said, and she smiled—he really had been spending too much time with Inuyasha. "I knew you'd come back. I just knew it."

"Hey, I couldn't stay away without seeing you, could I?"

"You did before," he replied, with a slight pout.

"That wasn't because of you."

"I know—it was because Inuyasha's a stupid jerk."

She smiled tightly—it was true, and everybody knew it, but she was so used to everyone dodging the subject that it was strange to hear it actually said out loud. "Are the others back yet."

"Yep—I was just coming to tell Kaede-sama. We're planning to leave tonight—are you coming with us?"

"That's why I'm here," Kagome said with a shrug.

"Goodie! Let's go!"

They wandered over to Sango and Miroku's, where everyone else was preparing for the journey. When Kagome appeared in the doorway, all activity ceased.

"Kagome," Sango said in surprise, setting her Hiraikotsu aside and getting up to greet her. "You came back! We thought you were gone for good."

"So did I, but…" she glanced at Inuyasha, who was staring at her with an unreadable expression, and then returned her gaze to Sango, "I realized I had some unfinished business here."

Sango nodded, understanding. "Well, we were just going outside to finish packing our gear. Come on you two," she said, grabbing Miroku by the sleeve. "Shippo, the kids are asleep in the back room—can you take them over to Kaede's? And try not to wake them up—they hardly slept at all last night."

Shippo nodded. "Sure," he said, "I'm on it," and disappeared into the back.

Inuyasha took a step forward, his expression still unreadable. Then he flicked his eyes away to the doorway over her shoulder. "I'm glad you came back."

"So am I," she replied.

And with that, he went outside to join Miroku and Sango.

They made some headway before dark really began to settle in, but before too long they had lost too much light to continue, so they set up camp. Thankfully, Kagome had remembered to pack a sleeping bag this time, so she wouldn't have to sleep on the ground. She had also remembered to pack a lighter, which made the fire-building process much simpler.

"Ah, Kagome-sama, I knew there was a reason I'd missed you," Miroku said with a grin as she stoked the campfire swiftly into a blaze. "Your modern conveniences really are marvelous things."

Kagome smiled mischievously. "You think that's good, wait till you see what else I brought." She dug around in her bag and pulled out five packages of ramen, tossing one into each person's lap and keeping one for herself.

"Ramen!" Shippo exclaimed.

"Excellent, Kagome," Sango said. "Thank you."

Inuyasha, meanwhile, was staring at the package in his hands like it was a precious jewel, running his fingertips gently over its edges. Kagome brought a pot of water to a boil and dished out the necessary amount to each of her waiting companions, who dug into their meal hungrily. But Inuyasha was still staring, transfixed, apparently lost in thought.

"Are you going to eat it, or just keep looking at it?" she asked him jokingly, nudging his arm.

He gave a start. "Sure, whatever," he said gruffly, holding out his cup so that she could fill it with hot water.

"Mm, this brings back memories," Miroku murmured as he slurped up the hot noodles.

"Yeah," Shippo concurred, "Mainly of Inuyasha getting sat after turning down Kagome's home cooking in favor of ramen."

Everyone snorted into their noodles—except Inuyasha, of course.

"Feh. Are you guys seriously telling me you'd rather eat one of those omelet-whatsits than ramen? You must be off your nut, all of you."

Kagome laughed. "What about the time he insulted those monkey-sprites, and ended up with a giant boulder stuck to his hand."

They all fell over backwards laughing.

"Hey! That wasn't funny—it was damn annoying."

"Oh, I assure you Inuyasha," Miroku corrected, "it was funny."

"Oh yeah? Well what about the time Miroku almost had to marry that girl who was engaged to the fish demon because he couldn't remember if he'd actually slept with her or not?" Inuyasha said with a smirk, earning Miroku a glare from Sango. Kagome stifled a laugh with her hand.

"That was an honest mistake," Miroku said blithely.

"A mistake, maybe," said Shippo, "but honest—never."

"Well you're not exactly guilt-free either, Shippo. What about the time you were possessed by the pupa demon and started playing all those nasty pranks on Inuyasha?"

"I was a victim of mind-control," Shippo defended.

"At first, sure—but you kept doing it even after we got rid of the demon."

"So," Shippo said, "he deserved it."

Kagome and the others laughed. They reminisced awhile longer, though Kagome noticed that everyone—including herself—seemed intent on reliving only the good memories. There was no mention of Naraku and his minions, or Kikyo and the many complications she had added to their lives—and everyone certainly steered clear of the elephant waiting patiently in the shadows, just beyond the reach of the firelight. In the end, only two people really had the right to bring that subject up—and if he wasn't going to do it, then neither would she. Not just yet, anyway.

"Well," Sango said finally, pushing herself to her feet, "I don't know about you folks, but I'm going to bed."

"I'll join you," Miroku agreed, collecting their empty ramen containers and handing them to Kagome for safekeeping and eventual disposal. Shippo yawned and crawled off to bed himself, leaving only Inuyasha and Kagome remaining by the fire. Neither seemed quite ready to go to bed, but neither did they really know what to say to one another. There seemed to be so much to say, but nowhere to start.

Inuyasha polished off the last of his noodles with a loud slurp and tossed the carton aside, settling back on the heels of his hands. Kagome reached forward and grabbed his empty container, stacking it with the others near her duffel bag. The two of them stared into the fire in silence for a long moment.

Finally, Inuyasha spoke up. "Why did you leave?"

"I told you," she said, "I had to work."

"No." He looked over at her profile, his gaze heating her skin more effectively than the fire. "Why did you leave the first time?"

She glanced over at him, startled, and then turned back to the fire. "There were a lot of reasons."

"What were they?"

"I don't know—it was complicated. I tried to explain it to you at the time."

"Well obviously you didn't do a very good job," he said bitterly.

"I guess not," she murmured, and they fell silent again.

Then, choosing her words carefully, Kagome began again. "I…I didn't think I belonged here anymore. I thought about it for a long time, and I finally realized that it would be better for both of us if I were to leave."

"What made you think that?"

"I don't know," she fudged, knowing it wasn't true. "I was going to be starting university soon, and I knew I wouldn't be able to handle that if I was hanging around here all the time…and there were other reasons too."

"What reasons?"

She sighed and shot him an exasperated look. "Do I really have to say it?"

He frowned. "What?"

Her eyes rolled of their own accord, and she threw a pebble into the fire, frustrated. "The whole thing was just too complicated. I got to a point where I knew I just couldn't spend the rest of my life waiting for something that would probably never happen."

"What, waiting for me to ditch Kikyo?" he said indignantly.

"No, of course not," she spat, an old anger beginning to congeal in the pit of her stomach. "Did I ever _once_ do anything to separate you two? No. I knew you had a special bond, and that you had responsibilities to each other, and I respected that. But what I couldn't understand was why you could never seem to make any choices for yourself—you always acted like everything was set in stone, like you had no control over it. But there's a difference between owing someone your protection and owing them your happiness. You never saw that. So all I could think was that either you were so far under her control that I would never really be able to reach you—or you really did love her. Either way, I was the one who was going to end up alone. And I finally decided I couldn't deal with that. So I left—clean slate. I started over. And then you showed up and decided to fuck everything all up again."

His eyes flashed. "Oh, well I'm sorry if I disturbed your perfect little life, but you know things haven't exactly been all fun and games for me all these years either. Fuck, Kagome, do you know how many years I spent trying to forget you? You were the one who left without an explanation—"

"I _did_ explain—"

"The hell you did!" he snapped, cutting her off. "You gave me some bullshit about needing to get a life that wasn't mine, and then you disappeared. And that was it."

"Well you could have come after me, you know," she replied pointedly.

He gave a derisive snort. "Yeah, right, like I'm gonna come chasing after the stupid bitch who's just dropped me flat on my ass and beg for forgiveness for whatever the hell I did? Fuck that!"

"Oh, so I'm supposed to talk to you, but you don't have to talk to me?"

"I trusted you, Kagome," he growled, fixing her with a dark glare, "and just when I thought I was safe, you up and left. You promised you were gonna stay, and then you disappeared."

"I made that promise when I was fifteen—what the hell did I know?"

"So what? A promise is a promise. Fuck, I was in _love_ with you, Kagome! Couldn't you fucking see that?" he snarled, looking her right in the eyes with a mixture of emotions so raw and anguished it left her speechless.

She could hardly believe what she had just heard. He hadn't even rushed to take it back. She swallowed, unnerved by the utterly unguarded nature of his expression, yet unable to look away.

"Goddammit—fuck you," he grumbled, shoving himself to his feet so hard he kicked up a little dirt, and then stalking off into the woods.

For a moment she considered going after him—but she couldn't think what on earth she would say to him, so finally she decided against it. Instead, she curled up in her sleeping bag and watched the fire die away, until all that was left was a smattering of embers, smoldering in the dark.

* * *

**A/N:** If I may toot my own horn again, I really like the scene between her and the dog. Probably partly because the stuff that was there before (which was really more like transition material than an actual scene) was a little weak, and I finally found a way to solve it—but also just because I love the idea of Kagome arguing with her dog…who happens to be named "Inuyasha"… (--grin--)

Oh—speaking of that scene, I have to admit, I've never actually owned a dog, so I sort of based my rendering of the feeding routine on the one we have with our cats (--grin--). Hope I wasn't too far off base…


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **Well, my Music Theatre Repertoire class got canceled for this afternoon, so I thought I'd devote a little of my leisure time to proofreading and posting this chapter (--grin--). Thanks for all the lovely reviews, folks, and I'm glad you all enjoyed Inuyasha's blurted confession (not to mention Kagome's little Dr. Dolittle moment… --grin--).

Read on…

**Chapter 5**

She finally fell asleep about an hour before dawn. All night she had lain awake, replaying her brief yet emotionally charged conversation with Inuyasha over and over again and growing angrier and angrier each time. It was almost funny. If they had had the same conversation when she was eighteen, she probably would have run after him and crumpled into a sobbing mess in his arms saying, "You mean that? You're really in love with me?" But for some unfathomable reason, his barked confession only seemed to feed her agitation. What right did he have to scream at her that he had been in love with her, as if that made everything suddenly her fault—as if it somehow absolved him of any responsibility for the mess that had been left between them? She'd been in love with him first, hadn't she? She'd damn sure been the first one to admit it to herself, anyway. And even though she'd never actually come out and said the words "I love you" to him aloud, everyone within a ten-mile radius of them had known it—including, she was almost completely positive, Inuyasha himself. It had always been one of those things that was just sort of…understood. And after all, she hadn't been the one running around after an old flame every five minutes. How dare he accuse _her_ of being insensitive to _his_ feelings? How dare he expect her to read his mind when he kept giving her such mixed signals? That arrogant, hypocritical, condescending, pig-headed, selfish bastard…

One version or another of this same train of thought had kept her occupied until finally her brain was so tired it couldn't even bitch about Inuyasha anymore, and she'd slipped gratefully into a fitful sleep. When she was awakened less than two hours later, she wasn't exactly rested, but she did seem to have gained a strange sort of calm that she hadn't felt since long before Inuyasha had shown up in her kitchen in the middle of the night and spooked her dog.

As for Inuyasha himself, they seemed to have come to a tacit agreement that they were not speaking to each other. They avoided getting too close to one another as they packed up the campsite, and they didn't make eye contact once. Kagome caught Sango and Miroku exchanging a couple of concerned looks as they gradually caught on to the tension in the air, but the other members of the group wisely refrained from mentioning it.

They set off on their way again, everyone traveling on foot for the moment—due in part to everyone's correct assumption that Kagome would not be riding on Inuyasha's back anytime soon. She spent most of the morning walking in step with Sango and talking about the joys—and drawbacks—of young motherhood. Apparently Mushin had distinguished himself as an infant with his ability to pee an exceptionally long distance during diaper changes. On one occasion Miroku had inadvertently positioned him near a window while changing him, and an unfortunate passer-by had received a rather nasty shock. Little Kagome, for her part, seemed to have inherited her father's groping habit—and Inuyasha had proven to be her favorite prey. Perhaps she had somehow managed to inherit a few things from her namesake as well…

Just after they had gotten back on the road following a brief lunch break—a relatively quiet affair, as neither Kagome nor Inuyasha had yet spoken a word to the other—a human scream rent the air.

They all stopped in their tracks, peering off to the right into the woods. Of course, a disturbance was immediately evident, but by the flick of Inuyasha's ears and the twitch of his nose, Kagome could tell he was picking up something the rest of them couldn't. Soon he took off into the trees, apparently having located the disruption, and the others jogged after him, struggling to keep up with his hanyou speed.

They caught up to him in a narrow clearing—little more than an old, overgrown section of a now-obsolete path—where he was fighting off a gang of human bandits single-handed. There were either six or seven of them—it was hard to count, because he kept knocking them off into the trees only to have them spring back at him again, and they all looked pretty much the same: hulking, mean, and dirty.

As Sango and Miroku joined Inuyasha's effort to subdue the bandits, Kagome noticed a man lying half-hidden in the brush. His clothes were torn, and he was bleeding heavily from a gash in his left arm and a scrape that ran down the side of his face. Kneeling beside him, she saw that he was still breathing, though his breaths were rapid and shallow, as though he'd been running. She took a pulse—not great, but not terrible either—and his eyelids fluttered open. He frowned at her in confusion, so she spoke to him as soothingly as she could. "Don't worry, I'm here to help. You're going to be okay."

He winced when she pressed one of her spare shirts to his wounds to soak up some of the blood, applying pressure to help stop the bleeding altogether. Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and Kirara appeared at her shoulder indicating that the fighting had stopped—all of the attackers had either fled or were lying unconscious among the trees.

"Is he okay to be moved?" Miroku asked.

Kagome felt his abdomen gently, deftly recalling the numerous first-aid classes she'd taken and books she'd read back when things like this had been business as usual. "I think so. I don't think he has any internal injuries."

A sack of coins landed at the man's side with a plunk, and Kagome turned around to see Inuyasha standing over her other shoulder. They met eyes for the first time all day, though neither one spoke, their expressions guarded. He looked away.

"Come on," Inuyasha said. "There's a village near here—let's get him over there so someone can fix him up."

They settled their patient atop Kirara's back as carefully as they could and meandered toward the village at a slow but steady pace.

Kagome had forgotten what it felt like to walk into a new town here with this motley crew and feel a dozen and a half pairs of eyes on them almost immediately, sizing them up, trying to decide if they were a threat. Murmured whispers followed them every step of the way, mothers looking fearfully at Inuyasha before shooing their children inside, men leering at her jeans and the way they hugged her hips. Suddenly she was infinitely glad that she wasn't wearing the tiny little skirt she'd always worn before. Inuyasha seemed oblivious—or perhaps more accurately, desensitized—to all of this, shrugging it off with his usual aplomb; but for Kagome, it was definitely going to take some getting used to.

They had almost reached the village inn when a young woman in dark blue came running out of a small house as they passed by, screaming at the top of her lungs and lunging at the figure lying on Kirara's back. "Sanosuke!" she cried, tears streaming down her cheeks. Inuyasha caught her around the waist just before she could slam into Kirara, most likely knocking the injured man to the ground in the process. "What have you done to him, you monsters?! Sanosuke! Give me back Sanosuke! Let go of me! What have you done to him?! Sanosuke!" she screamed hysterically, pummeling Inuyasha with her fists as she tried desperately to wrestle her way out of his grip.

"Ouch! Fuck, wench," he spat as she clipped him in the eye with one of her wild flails.

"Calm down, please," Kagome soothed, rushing to the distraught woman's side and trying to gently steer her arms away from Inuyasha's face. "He's alright, I promise—he was attacked in the woods. We came by to help him—only to help."

The woman broke down into sobs, collapsing onto Kagome's shoulder. Inuyasha gladly let go of her, stepping back to nurse his injuries and glare petulantly at the poor woman out of the corner of his eye. Kagome ignored him, patting the woman on the back and holding her until she seemed to finally be getting her bearings again.

"I'm sorry," the woman said at last, her voice watery with tears. "It's all the demon attacks in the area. I told him not to go, but he said he had to make the delivery or he wouldn't get paid, and we wouldn't be able to eat this week. And then when I saw…" she broke off again, crying into Kagome's shoulder.

"It's okay—he's going to be okay. He's just a little banged up, that's all—he'll recover in no time."

They unloaded Sanosuke and carried him into the house, settling him on a futon in the main room while the young woman—whose name, they soon found out, was Keiko—boiled water to clean his wounds properly. Kagome also used some of her antiseptic spray, telling Keiko that it was a remedy from her village (for lack of a better explanation), and helped her to bandage him up as he slept.

In gratitude for their help—and in apology for her initial reaction—she offered them the use of their house for the night. After a token protest, they accepted her offer gratefully. With a hot meal of rice and vegetables in their stomachs, Kagome and Sango walked over to the nearby inn and managed to talk the innkeeper into letting them use the bathing facilities in exchange for a respectable tip. Never had Kagome so relished the feeling of being clean.

Just as they were leaving the inn, they ran into Inuyasha, who was pacing back and forth by the entrance in an agitated fashion, earning him a disgruntled look from the innkeeper. When they stepped outside, Inuyasha's gaze locked on Kagome, his expression serious and determined. "You—we need to talk."

Sango exchanged a glance with Kagome, who nodded, signaling that it was alright for her to leave—she'd talk to him. As soon as Sango had stepped away, Inuyasha grabbed Kagome by the arm and marched around the back of the inn and into the trees a little way, where they could have some privacy.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he demanded.

Her eyes flashed. "What's wrong with _me?_ You're the one who dragged me out here."

"You know what I mean."

"You know what, I don't—you're gonna have to explain it," she retorted, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You've been acting mad all day—if anyone should be mad, it's me."

"Oh yeah? And why is that?"

"Because you're the one who left!"

"So?"

"So? So you got to make a choice—I just got stuck with it!"

"Here we go again—god forbid anything should ever be your fault! God forbid you should ever make an actual decision yourself. Because you know what? Then there would be no one else to blame when everything goes down the toilet!"

"You're still not answering my question!"

"Well you know what? I'm sick and tired of having to explain myself to you. I had every right to leave. Did you ever once offer me anything that even resembled a real future? How was I supposed to know how you felt? I'm not a mind-reader, Inuyasha, and even you didn't know how you felt half the time. Don't you know that I would have stayed with you forever in a heartbeat if I'd ever had the slightest indication that you really did love me, and that someday we would be together for good? But I couldn't just sit around waiting for you to wise up."

"You never gave me a chance to—"

"I gave you a million chances! For weeks before I left I kept dropping hints, giving you every opportunity to stop me—but you just didn't get it."

"Well why didn't you just come out and tell me? I'm no good with subtle crap, you know that!"

"Because I didn't want you to just tell me what I wanted to hear—I needed to know that it was true."

He looked her directly in the eyes, and it seemed that maybe, finally, she was getting through to him. Maybe he was starting to understand. At last he gave a sigh, dropping his gaze to the ground. "Fine—I'm sorry, okay? Maybe I should have caught on faster. But couldn't we just—" He reached out to grasp her shoulders, but she shrugged his hands away quickly.

"No. You had your chance, and you blew it. We both did. It's just not possible anymore."

For awhile they stared at each other, feeling the distance between them growing wider and wider—and yet, it would be so easy to just reach out and touch one another. There had always been so many things pushing them apart—but even after eight years of separation, here they were, standing on the same soil, mere feet from each other. How was it possible? How, with all the odds apparently against them, had they still managed to get to this spot?

"Fine," Inuyasha said, so quietly it was almost inaudible. Kagome bowed her head, feeling a strange mix of triumph and regret as she brushed past him and headed back toward the house in the growing dark.

She slipped inside quietly. Keiko was sitting vigil at Sanosuke's bedside and barely noticed her as she came in, so focused was she on her husband. Kagome smiled to herself sadly and moved through into the back room where the others were all sound asleep. She felt her way carefully over to her sleeping a bag and curled up, hoping to drift off immediately, before her thoughts had a chance to churn.

But every so often Kagome would catch herself staring at the wall and thinking half-formed thoughts about the past, the present, and the future. Somehow it all seemed more jumbled than it had ever been before. She had a past with Inuyasha in the past, but she also had a past with Kenji in the future—not to mention a future with Kenji in the future. But could there have been a future with Inuyasha in the past if she'd only been willing to sacrifice a year or two more of her past present to allow him to lay his past to rest and finally look toward his future…in the past? And what about the present? Was she clinging to the wrong past at the expense of her present future? Or was she just talking herself into sacrificing her future for the sake of a present that could never be any more than a rehash of the past?

Or was it all just a bunch of wordplay that she was using to protect herself from the frightening simplicity of her true feelings?

She felt as if she had been plunged into the ocean, and no matter how much she flailed and turned she couldn't figure out which way was up—which choice would move her forward.

When it got to the point where she had tossed and turned so many times that it felt like the only way she could possibly be comfortable would be to crawl out of her very skin, she finally gave up and climbed out of bed, stumbling through the main room and out the front door, breathing in the cool night air gratefully, letting it clear her head. She slumped down to sit on the edge of the porch, cradling her head in her hands. When had it all become so complicated? She'd thought she had everything figured out. Sure, maybe her life wasn't perfect, but whose was? That was normal, wasn't it? She was happy.

But if she was so happy, then what the hell was she doing here?

A twig snapped to her left, and she jerked her head up, startled. The moonlight reflected off a head of silver hair, outlining Inuyasha's silhouette. She could see his golden eyes peering at her though the darkness, and she stood up to face him.

There wasn't really a thought behind it. She wasn't even sure who moved first—but all of a sudden their bodies were pressed up against one another, her arms around his neck as she kissed him hungrily, his clawed fingers kneading her back as though he were trying to swallow her up bodily. His taste was dark and bittersweet, and the only thought in her head was that she wanted more of it. She didn't care what had happened yesterday or what would happen tomorrow—all she wanted was to keep kissing Inuyasha. She was kissing Inuyasha. She had waited so long for this—even after she had known it would never happen, even after she had decided that she would never see him again, some part of her had still waited. He caught her lower lip between his teeth, and she ran her hands up into his hair, and nothing else existed but those fingers and those fangs and that breath in her mouth.

A shadow passed across the moon, and slowly they separated, breathing heavily. There was nothing to say, nowhere to go. They couldn't move forward, but they didn't want to move back. She slid out of his arms, her eyes never leaving his, both of them silently asking the question, _"What do we do?"_

Neither had a satisfactory answer.

So finally, Kagome turned and went back inside to try to get some sleep. Glancing out the window on the way back to the bedroom, she met Inuyasha's eyes one more time before he settled himself on the porch next to the wall to guard them all as they slept.

She awoke the next morning with a bemused frown on her face. In the clear light of day, her memories of the previous night's brief encounter seemed oddly surreal, almost dreamlike. For a moment she almost wondered if it had been a dream—but she could still taste the barest hint of him on her lips.

To her surprise, there not only seemed to be no awkwardness between the two of them, but they also seemed to have come to some sort of understanding. As they packed their things to continue in their search, the two of them bickered and teased each other innocently, but without the underlying tension and genuine resentment that had been present ever since his reappearance in the modern era. With their newfound acceptance of the situation and the realization that this could only be temporary, they both seemed to have decided to enjoy it while it lasted—because eventually they would have to say goodbye again for good, and after that it wouldn't matter who had left whom or who should have told who what when. It would be over—and they would both finally be able to move on.

* * *

"I wasn't saying you couldn't learn it, Inuyasha—I just meant I didn't think it would interest you."

"Feh. You think I'm an idiot, don't you? Come on Kagome, I can take anything you can throw at me," he challenged, squaring his shoulders and crossing his arms as they walked, the very picture of machismo.

"Inuyasha," Kagome sighed, amused. "I'm telling you, it's really not your thing."

"You're afraid, aren't you?" he accused, pinning her with grinning golden eyes all of a sudden. "I knew it—you're chicken."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh for god's sake, fine. Truth or Dare?"

"Huh?"

"That's how you play—I ask you if you want to tell the truth about something, or if you want to be dared to do something silly or scary. Truth or Dare?"

"Dare," he said promptly, self-confident as ever.

"Fine. I dare you to…give Shippo a kiss on the cheek."

"What?" he roared, appalled. "Why the fuck would I do that?"

"Do you want to play, or don't you?" she asked, raising her eyebrows at him.

He grumbled something about stupid games from the future, but his pride compelled him to drop back to where Shippo was walking alongside Miroku and Sango. Shippo frowned at him curiously, but continued walking, not paying him much attention. Kagome watched over her shoulder as Inuyasha set his face, grabbed Shippo firmly by the head, and planted a brief peck on the kit's cheek.

"Hey!" Shippo yelped, shoving Inuyasha off him. "What the hell was that for?"

"Kagome dared me," Inuyasha replied.

"What?"

"Nevermind. Shut up," Inuyasha snapped at Miroku and Sango, who were both concealing smiles of profound amusement. He stalked off to rejoin Kagome, who was stifling her laughter with the back of her hand.

"Now what?" he demanded, eager to repay her for her cruelty.

Kagome struggled to compose herself. "Now it's your turn to ask me."

"Fine. Truth or Dare?" he said smugly.

"Truth," she said.

He frowned, disappointed. "Wait, you're supposed to say 'Dare.' I wanted to dare you."

"I'm not _supposed_ to say anything, Inuyasha—it's my choice."

He grumbled again. "Alright, fine. What do I do now?"

"You get to ask me a question, and I have to answer it truthfully."

He sighed and thought for a moment—and then he glanced over at Kagome, considering, and finally turned his gaze forward again, ready to ask his question. "Did you ever think about me? You know, after you left?"

She turned her eyes to his profile quickly, startled—but his expression was without bitterness. There was no hidden agenda this time—he just wanted to know. And so she found herself answering truthfully, without reservation. "Of course I did. I thought about you all the time, especially at first."

"No, I mean after that—after you started your university, and after you met that guy, and after…after everything. Did you still think about me?"

She nodded. "Sometimes. I tried not to, but sometimes."

He chanced a glance at her before venturing further. "What did you think?"

A sly smile spread across her face. "You're cheating—you only get one question per turn."

He slanted her a look. "Keh."

"Truth or Dare?" she prompted.

He gave a sigh. "Truth."

"Did you ever think about me?"

This time he turned and looked her in the eyes—the most frighteningly unguarded look she could ever remember exchanging with him. "Every day," he said. And then he looked away, and the moment was broken.

They continued on up the path, traveling deeper and deeper into the mountains from which the recent demon attacks seemed to have emanated. They were still about a half a day's walk from the caves they had planned to investigate when night fell, and they decided to set up camp. They set up a cooking fire and enjoyed a pleasant meal of innocuous conversation and friendly bickering, just like old times, and then they began to settle in for the night. Miroku secured the fire as Sango and Shippo rolled out sleeping mats and Inuyasha found himself a nice, cozy tree to keep watch from, and Kagome walked a little way into the woods to the nearby stream to refill her water bottle and rinse some of the road dirt from her face and hands.

As she perched herself on the rocky bank of the stream and leaned over to place her water bottle in the water, she gave a sigh of contentment. There was something so peaceful, so…easy, about being here. She had missed it. God, but she had missed it—the trees, the grass, the smell of the breeze as it swept over the countryside…being with all of them. Putting aside all the drama, when it was just the group of them enjoying each other's company, enjoying not being alone in the world for once, even if it would only last for a moment, everything just seemed to…work. It was only when they had let the future and the past and all their questions cloud the present that things had become complicated. They made adversaries of each other—isolating themselves. Choosing to be alone again.

An insect buzzed near her left ear, and she flinched, waving it away. Was that it? Was she…alone?

Of course not—she had Kenji. But even in her head, that protest sounded frighteningly hollow.

There was a sharp prick at the base of her neck, like an insect bite, and she slapped at it—but there was nothing there. It had gone. All of a sudden, an intense drowsiness pulled at her, and she began to panic, struggling to keep her eyes open. Blinking into the darkness, she thought she saw the outline of a dreadfully familiar, wasp-like insect silhouetted against the moon. But she had to fight even to draw air into her lungs, and she felt as if she were being dragged down through the rock, deeper and deeper, all light gradually extinguished beneath the inexorable pull of unconsciousness.

* * *

**A/N:** Dun-dun-_dun_… (--grin--)

Don't worry—since I'm getting this chapter out a couple of days ahead of schedule, I'll probably have time to get the next chapter out sometime this weekend as well. Although I have a rather nasty (and long) Music Theatre History midterm to write too, so we'll have to see how that goes first…


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: **Well, here we are, folks—the penultimate chapter of _Absence_. The cadential 6/4 to chapter seven's tonic, if you will… (--grin-- Sorry. Been studying music for too long. I really need to get out of here… --grin--) Thank you again so much for all the lovely reviews—and I'm glad people seemed to enjoy the "midnight kiss" scene. I debated with myself for a long time about whether to leave it in or not—I wasn't sure whether it really made sense, or it was just me being self-indulgent (--grin--). Though actually, that was awhile ago—at this point, I don't think I could have removed it without doing weird things to the rhythm of the story.

Anyway, enough chatter—read on…

**Chapter 6**

It was cold. In fact, the cold seemed to be pushing against her side, trying to swallow her up. She blinked, her eyelids scratching uncomfortably against her eyes—her vision was blurred, and all she could make out was a flickering light source somewhere below her. Or was it to the right?

It was then that she realized she was lying on her side on the ground—a surface of hard, cold, smooth stone. There was moisture in the air, but she felt dry, like a rag wrung out and left to harden over the faucet. She couldn't seem to move her limbs, although she was quite certain she could still feel them. What had happened? How had she gotten here? How long had she been here? Where was Inuyasha?

"You're awake." The voice was familiar, and it seemed to turn her heart to ice—but she couldn't place it.

She opened her mouth to speak, but her tongue felt like it was swaddled in cotton.

"Good," the voice continued, its owner still hidden in the shadows, just out of range of that flickering light. "The sooner you wake, the sooner this business can be done."

At last, she found her voice. "Who are you?" she croaked.

There was a chuckle. "Has it been that long? Surely you remember me."

The rough stone walls of the cave were beginning to take shape around her, the firelight playing eerily over the surface of the rock, and she could just make out the edges of a tall, lean form lurking in the corner. The figure shifted slowly, stepping forward, allowing the light to caress his face. For a terrifying moment, she thought that it was Naraku—but when she glimpsed the mane of sleek, pearlescent hair spilling over his shoulders, she knew she'd been mistaken. He was much taller and more mature looking than he had been when she'd last set eyes on him, but those features were unmistakable: It was Hakudoushi.

"You're dead," she whispered without thinking, and he chuckled darkly again.

"Unfortunately for you, I'm not."

This didn't make sense—she had seen him die. He had been abandoned by Naraku, his powers revoked, and Miroku had sucked him into the Kazaana; there was no way he could have survived. "How?"

His cruel impression of a smile was audible in his voice. "I wasn't like the others. Naraku fashioned me in the image of his own soul—a perfected version of his soul, one that was free from Onigumo's human frailties. I was more than his equal—and what Naraku didn't realize when he deprived me of those powers he had bestowed upon me was that I had developed a few of my own, and I had prepared for his betrayal. When I died, I left behind a piece of my soul—a weak, disembodied piece, but enough to serve as an anchor to this world. That was all I needed. I had hoped to return to strength in time to take him down myself, to show him who was truly the stronger—but I seem to have underestimated the time it would take to regain my power. So I have been forced to alter my plans somewhat."

Several seconds passed in silence as Kagome tried to make sense of what he was telling her, tried to figure out what her next move was. "It's no good to kidnap me," she said at last. "Inuyasha knows your tricks—he's prepared for any trap you might have set."

Hakudoushi laughed again, this time a taunting, slightly maniacal laugh. "Don't you understand? The trap is already sprung. It's not them that I want—not even the hanyou: It's you. You are the one I've wanted all along."

"What?" she breathed. "Why? Why me?"

"Without you, Inuyasha would have remained pinned to a tree for all eternity. Without you, the sacred jewel would have remained whole, and free for Naraku's taking. Without you, Inuyasha would have had no way to hunt for the sacred jewel shards. Without you, he would not have fought so long and hard, even when Naraku's victory was nearly a certainty. Without you, Naraku would not have been destroyed before I could return and steal his victory and the fully tainted jewel all at once. Naraku never saw this. He was blinded by his hatred for Inuyasha and his jealousy of Kikyo—he never saw that you were the true enemy, the true source of Inuyasha's strength. And so he failed to kill you, time after time, and he thought nothing of it—and this oversight led him to his downfall. You took away my victory—and you let all of my former master's trouble go to waste when you purified the jewel of the darkness he had poured into it, the darkness that would have brought me back to my full strength in mere moments. With the jewel as it is, I have only been able to become this meager shadow of what I ought to have been—but it is enough. I can see to it that you are destroyed. I can send you to hell to join your predecessor."

Kagome swallowed. "You don't have to do this," she said, trying desperately to keep her voice from shaking.

"It is all that there is."

"Inuyasha and the others will come after me. If you let me go, I can convince him to let you live—but if I die, he won't rest until he's killed you."

"Even if it means his own death," Hakudoushi confirmed with a quiet smile that made Kagome's mouth go dry. "He will have his revenge—it doesn't matter. As long as I have had mine."

Kagome's toes began to tingle uncomfortably, and she flinched at the sensation—whatever he had drugged her with was beginning to wear off. She was regaining control of her digits—her extremities would be next. If she could just keep him talking…

"Well obviously I've been here for awhile," she said, trying to muster a degree of indignation to cover her fear. "If you wanted me dead so badly, why didn't you kill me before I woke up? Or for that matter, why didn't you have that little bug you sent out after me inject me with a lethal poison instead of some kind of sleeping potion or something?"

He chuckled humorlessly, drifting ever closer, apparently savoring the feeling of having her at his mercy. "I wanted you to know that I had been the one to kill you. I wanted you to understand your death. But most of all, I wanted to watch your face twist in pain as you breathed your last breath."

She swallowed hard again. Somehow it had been easier to spit in the face of guys like this when she was fifteen and immortal, and used to having Inuyasha swing to her rescue in the nick of time about three or four times a day. But at the moment, she was feeling very in touch with her mortality. In fact, she thought she might throw up…

The tingling sensation was crawling up her legs and arms, and she longed to stretch her limbs—even better, to stretch out in a warm bath, far away from psychotic demons hell-bent on taking revenge on her. But she pushed the longing aside, following Hakudoushi with her eyes as he circled her feet slowly, coming up alongside her.

He knelt at her side, his eyes fixed on her face with a calm, almost reverent hunger. His hand was frighteningly gentle on her shoulder as he rolled her flat on her back, so that she was looking up at him directly. Her breath was coming in short, silent gasps now, her mind racing, searching—what would the old Kagome have done? How could she get herself out of this?

Hakudoushi reached into the belt of his white robes and drew out a short, curved dagger. The gleaming, highly-polished blade was a sharp contrast to his somewhat ragged clothes and world-weary countenance. Only then did she realize just how obsessed he had become with her; how long he must have waited for this moment.

He lowered the blade slowly, running its broad edge gently against the side of her throat like a caress, pushing aside the collar of her shirt to expose the patch of flesh that concealed her heart.

"Please don't do this," she whispered. "It doesn't have to be like this…"

"Yes, it does," he replied, his voice so low it was barely audible. Then he raised the dagger above its target, breathing in the moment—and brought it swiftly down upon her.

"No!" she screamed, throwing her hands up instinctively to protect herself—she hadn't even realized she'd regained control of those muscles yet. But to her surprise, there was no pain, no blood, no tearing of flesh. A grunt of frustration prompted her to open her eyes, and she was stunned to see that some sort of pale pinkish barrier was hanging in the air just above her, preventing his knife from reaching her. She looked around for its source in confusion before realizing that it must be coming from her.

"Whoa…" she breathed, unable to stop herself. Since when had she been able to do that? She hadn't even been sure she could do the arrow thing anymore.

The barrier was weak at best, and it was taking every ounce of energy she had just to hold him off—she knew she couldn't keep it up. She had to find a way to get out of this. Struggling against the last traces of sluggishness in her muscles from the drug, she let go of the barrier and used the moment in which Hakudoushi lost his balance to grab his wrist with both hands, drag him across her body, and bring her knee up hard against his crotch. While he was distracted by the pain of the blow, she slammed his wrist against the hard stone floor repeatedly until his hand loosened its grip on the hilt of the dagger.

But he wasn't done yet. The veneer of calm he had worn throughout their encounter was gone, leaving behind rage and blind hatred. He caught her with an elbow across the jaw and pinned her to the ground beneath his weight, his nails drawing blood from the flesh of her wrists. "I'll teach you to defy me you bitch!" he growled. "I was going to kill you quickly—but each moment you struggle against me you prolong the agony you'll suffer."

But she didn't care. The fear was gone now—all she felt was anger and determination to free herself by whatever means necessary. If she was going to die, at least she would die fighting.

He slapped her hard across the face again and clenched a hand around her neck, determined to strangle the life out of her—but she clawed at him with her now freed hand, pummeling his ribcage and scratching at his eyes. When he flinched away from her attacking fingers, she took advantage of the momentary lapse to throw them over sideways and crack his skull against the ground. They struggled sideways on the ground for several moments, limbs clutching and kicking as he tried to keep hold of her and she tried desperately to escape. Finally, when she pulled off another lucky blow to the groin, she slipped out of his grasp and stumbled to her feet, hurtling off across the stone floor of the cave away from the fire, toward what she hoped was the entrance, Hakudoushi at her heels. Images of finally reaching the mouth of the cave and finding herself on a cliff halfway up a mountain drifted across her racing mind, but she pushed them aside, putting all of her energy into the pounding of her feet.

Turning a corner, she gasped in relief as she caught sight of the sunlight streaming in through an opening off down the passage—but all of a sudden a shadow blocked out the sunlight, and there were pounding feet coming toward her from both directions. Her heartbeat sped up as she kept running, looking around wildly for some way to escape before she was cornered—but then she caught a flash of red and silver in the passage ahead, and she realized that the figure coming toward her was Inuyasha.

"Get out of the way, Kagome!" he shouted, drawing his sword as his face came into view. She dove sideways and spun around as he sped past her, leaping at Hakudoushi, who had drawn a sword of his own, which she presumed he must have picked up before running after her. The two clashed fiercely, throwing each other back into the stone walls again and again.

"Give me a hand here, will ya?" Inuyasha called out to her—and only then did she notice that he had dropped something at her feet as he ran past: Her bow and arrows.

She fumbled with the weapon, her lack of recent practice not helped by the fact that her fine motor skills were still a bit impaired; but she managed to nock an arrow. It was hard to aim in such a confined space—they were moving around so much that she was afraid she would hit Inuyasha.

"Just shoot it already!" he shouted.

"I can't! What if I hit you?"

"You won't—just trust yourself." He landed another blow, knocking Hakudoushi back. "I can't use the Wind Scar in here—it'll bring the whole place down on us. You know what you're doing, Kagome!"

Taking a steadying breath and trusting to luck, and whatever spiritual power still resided in her, she let the arrow fly.

A blaze of rose-colored light filled the passageway as the arrow sailed at Hakudoushi, Inuyasha throwing himself out of the way just in time. It seemed to home in right on his heart, engulfing him in its power, his skin radiating with the strength of it. His eyes blazed in furious disbelief as he realized that after all this time she had beaten him, just as she had beaten Naraku—and then the light reached its apex and disappeared, leaving nothing behind but a fine, white dust, and an arrow imbedded in the rock wall behind it, from which hung a very familiar little pink ball on a chain. Hakudoushi was gone.

Kagome met Inuyasha's gaze across the passageway. Sword and bow clattered to the floor as they ran toward each other, meeting in an impassioned kiss. It was free and open, full of all the love they felt for each other at that moment, the relief that they were both still alive, unhindered by the past or the future or any other complications that existed somewhere out there on the horizon. It was a breath of fresh air, a freefall into arms that you know will catch you, a whispered desire into a heart that you know will accept you. It was easy. Remarkably, laughably easy, after all they'd been through to reach this moment.

Of course, it was over all too soon. They both pulled back, smiling, still basking in the pleasure of the moment, but once again aware of the shadow on the horizon.

"Thanks for saving me," she said.

"Ditto," he replied, grinning, and she laughed.

"You remember 'ditto'?"

"'Course I do. I remember all that stuff you used to say. 'Ditto' and 'Awesome' and 'Freak me out'…"

"Oh god," she laughed, putting her face in her hands, "please don't remember that one…"

He chuckled, walking over to what was left of Hakudoushi and plucking the Shikon no Tama from the shaft of the arrow. Then he turned back, glancing at the jewel thoughtfully, then at her. "Here," he said finally, walking back towards her with the jewel outstretched, "you should probably be the one to hang on to this."

She smiled slightly, taking the jewel in her cupped hands and staring at it for a moment, marveling at how oddly harmless it looked in its current, untainted state. "Thanks," she said, looking up at him again.

He met her gaze for a moment, and then shrugged it off. "Come on, let's get going. The others will want to know you're okay. We've been looking for you since last night." He crouched down, offering his back, and she climbed on, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her cheek into his shoulder as they flew swiftly down the mountainside, trying not to think about the fact that this might be the last time.

* * *

They reached Kaede's village around dinnertime, and they all crowded in for a much appreciated meal around the fire. Throughout the meal they laughed and talked as if this were just another day, everyone studiously ignoring the unignorable—Kagome's inevitable departure. Now that Shippo was safe and the mystery surrounding his disappearance had been solved, there was no excuse for her to stay around.

After dinner, Inuyasha got to his feet and announced, with a meaningful look at Kagome, that he was going outside to stretch his legs. Grimacing under his firm gaze, Kagome followed him dutifully out the door. She supposed it had been too much to hope that everyone would just forget about her and she'd be able to slip out after they all fell asleep. She didn't want to make a big scene. She didn't want to have to think about the fact that she was leaving them again.

The sky was a vivid orange, tinged with pink and violet. She barely had time to smile at its vast brilliance before a firm hand grasped her arm and pulled her aside, a little away from the cabin to put them out of earshot. When Inuyasha brought her around to face him, she met his serious golden eyes unflinchingly.

"So what's it going to be?" he asked.

"What's what going to be?"

"Don't hand me that shit. You know damn well what I'm talking about," he replied, not missing a beat.

She pressed her lips together, hoping the answer would come to her—but it didn't. "I don't know," she said finally.

"Well you'd better figure it out quick, because you're running out of excuses."

A wry smile curved her lips. He'd read her mind. "I know."

There was a brief pause. And then: "I think you know I want you to stay," he said quietly, his tone straightforward. "I love you, Kagome—I always have."

"I love you too, Inuyasha, but…it's not that simple."

"Not that simple? How much simpler could it get? We love each other. That's all that matters."

Kagome laughed ruefully. "You know, I used to think that exact same thing. I used to think you fall in love with somebody, and that's it—you do whatever you have to do, you go wherever you have to go—none of it matters because you're in love. It was that simple. And then I fell in love with you."

The left corner of his mouth quirked in a small laugh. "And things got complicated."

"They were always complicated. We just didn't know it until we stumbled into it."

"Well you always accused me of being incapable of making decisions about my life, but look at you—look at what you're doing right now. You're trying to keep all your options open forever, and you just can't do that, Kagome. I should know."

"I know," she replied. "Believe me, I know. But you've got to understand where I'm coming from here. I have a life back there. I have a house, I have a career, I have a husband—"

"None of which make you as happy as you've been these past few days. Come on, Kagome—you've as good as said it yourself."

"Maybe not—but it's a different kind of happiness. And it's stable—it's the kind of life I always expected to lead. It's what I understand. I just can't throw it all away on a whim. I have to at least talk to Kenji—I need some time to think. Some time away from here."

Inuyasha nodded. "Alright—I'll give you three days."

"Three days!"

"Three days—if you're not back by then, I'm not coming after you. I'll put you behind me."

She met his hard gaze—he meant what he said. He would forget her. He would make himself forget. And somehow she couldn't find it in her heart to object—so she simply nodded, accepting his terms.

He turned to go back inside, and she followed him with her eyes for a moment before a thought occurred to her—she had one more question to ask. And seeing as this might be her last chance, she figured she'd better take it while she could. "Wait."

He paused, turning back to her with a questioning look on his face, waiting for her to continue.

"I just wanted to know…" she began, taking a hesitant step towards him, "…why you never got rid of the jewel."

He looked back at her and released a puff of air though his nose. "Isn't it obvious?"

She frowned at him, nonplussed, and he looked away.

"I thought if the jewel disappeared, the well might close—and then I would never see you again."

Her heart seemed to go both warm and cold at the same time. She'd never really thought of that. She'd spent so much time trying to close the door on her old life, it had never really occurred to her that it might close of its own accord—for good.

"Besides," Inuyasha continued, "there was nothing I really wanted from it. The only thing I wanted was you."

She didn't know what to say—except: "For what it's worth, I'm sorry about how things ended with us the first time. I…I never meant to hurt you."

He looked at her for a long time—then gave a short nod, and walked away, disappearing into the hut once more.

Soon after, she gathered her things and said her goodbyes. The question of whether or not she would be coming back was tacitly ignored, but most of them acted as though they would be seeing her again soon, just because it was easier to handle that way—though she noticed Sango hugged her a little more tightly than she normally would have, and Miroku's kind smile didn't quite reach his eyes. Inuyasha was nowhere to be found—he seemed to feel that all that needed to be said had been said, and she had not seen him since their conversation at Kaede's. Finally, she pushed off the edge of the well and into the time-slip, arriving once more in the dank, musty interior of her family's well house.

* * *

**A/N:** Well, I hope you enjoyed it—and I really hope the Hakudoushi section came off alright. That scene has probably been the biggest headache in the entire story, simply because I'm really no great shakes at action sequences. I'm much better with two characters in a room either bantering or having a serious conversation—that's my specialty (--grin--). Oh, and could you tell I've read _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_ a few too many times? Ah well—but trust me, this thinly disguised "horcrux" idea worked much better than any of the others I tried…especially after I read a bit further into the manga and discovered a few things… (--grin--)

Not that this story is completely consistent with the manga, of course. When I started it, they hadn't even finished airing the anime in English yet—and I only just recently caught up with the manga. If I had to pinpoint it, I would say this story splits off from the canon somewhere not long before chapter 400, give or take. But frankly, I hate having to specify things like that. I consider this a Canon Universe story, not an AR, because it doesn't revolve around a specific change or "breaking-off point." But I'm going off on a tangent now…I'll save that argument for the next time it comes up at the IYFG (--grin--).

Only one chapter left to go! I anticipate being able to post it sometime next weekend…


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: **Well, here it is—the final chapter of _Absence_. I want to thank everyone again for all the lovely reviews, and I hope you'll all find this a satisfying conclusion to the story. I'll make my final remarks at the end—for now, read on!

**Chapter 7**

When she got home, Kenji was sitting at the kitchen table with his laptop and piles of documents spread out before him. He glanced up from his work when she walked in, eyebrows raised in mild surprise. "Thought you said you'd be gone a week," he commented as she set her purse on the counter.

She gave him what she hoped was an easy smile before turning away to busy herself hunting around in the fridge. She wasn't really hungry—she just felt like she needed something to do with her hands. "Well, things didn't end up taking quite as long as I'd thought, so I came back early," she answered vaguely, pulling an orange out of the fruit drawer and wandering back over to the counter to peel it.

"So your friend is feeling better then?"

She hesitated a moment, then nodded, not looking up from her orange. "Mm-hm. Much better."

The orange slice was coming away in frustratingly small shards. Usually she was better at this, but her fingers seemed oddly out of practice at such a mundane task. In her peripheral vision, she saw Kenji lean forward to rest his elbows on the edge of the table.

"What's going on?" he asked, his voice serious, but not quite accusing.

She glanced up suddenly to see him watching her steadily, waiting for her to answer. "What do you mean?"

"I think you know what I mean."

She swallowed, but kept her voice mild and easy. "No, I really don't."

A wry smile spread across his face at that, and he settled back in his chair, folding his hands across his stomach. "Come on, Kagome. You've barely spoken to me in three weeks. When you're here you can't even seem to look at me. And you keep disappearing off to some place with no phones and no address. I think I have a right to know the truth. Are you having an affair?"

"No," she said quickly—and in all honesty, she didn't think of it as an affair. After all, two impulsive kisses and a lot of childish bickering hardly constituted an affair, did it? That word seemed to connote something much grander and more glamorous, and involving a lot less kidnapping and dirt and demon guts.

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying. I'm not having an affair. It's just…" She didn't know what she was trying to say. How could she even begin to explain what had been going on these past few weeks? She didn't really even understand it herself.

"What?"

"I…I don't know. I've just been…reconnecting with some things I thought I'd put behind me, and it's been making me a little crazy."

"But there is someone else, isn't there."

She hesitated, fidgeting with the pulp of her now fully-pealed orange, trying to figure out how best to answer—but in the end, she couldn't think of anything better than, "Yes and no."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that yes, this all started because of someone, but…it's not really about him anymore. I mean, some of it is, but—I don't know. It's about more than that."

"What are you saying, Kagome?" When she didn't answer, he continued, "I thought we were okay. I thought we had a good thing going here. When did that change?"

"We did—I mean, we do. Look," she took a breath, trying to sort out her thoughts, "it's not about that either, it's just…I'm confused. There were all these things…" She knew she was repeating herself, and that she wasn't making any sense, and that was the most frustrating thing of all—but she didn't know how else to put it. "And I thought I'd gotten away from all of that and I was okay with it, but now it's all come up again, and I'm not sure what to do about it."

"Well then talk to me, Kagome—let me help," he implored.

She looked into his calm, concerned eyes, and for a moment she teetered on the edge of doing just that—but it was too much. She wouldn't even know where to begin. She just wasn't prepared for that conversation. "I…I can't. Not right now," she added quickly.

"Why not?"

"It's—it's complicated."

"I'm your husband, Kagome—I love you. Whatever is bothering you, we can work it out together. But I can't do anything to fix it if you keep shutting me out like this."

A wave of guilt crashed over her at the somewhat hurt look in his eyes, and mentally she berated herself for the way she'd been acting—the way she was still acting. He deserved better than this. "I know," she said quietly, "and I'm sorry—believe me, I am—but I think it's something I have to deal with by myself, at least for now. I just…" She set the orange aside with a sigh, admitting defeat and shifting to rest her hip against the counter as she looked at him directly. "I just don't know about anything anymore. I'm sorry, I wish I could give you a better answer than that, but it's the truth."

He paused, watching her carefully as her eyes drifted thoughtfully back to the countertop. And then he asked quietly, "Do you still love me?"

She looked quickly over at him, startled by the question. "Of course I do," she replied—and as she said it, it was the truth.

He glanced down at the screen in front of him, though she could tell he wasn't really looking at it, his expression quietly brooding as he mulled over everything she had said—and everything she had not said. Finally, he looked up again, his voice still calm and serious, but without accusation—which, somehow, only made her feel worse. "What do you expect me to do with all this, Kagome? What happens now?"

That was the question, wasn't it—what happens now? And the answer was that she didn't have a clue. "I…I guess just…give me time. I promise I'll explain everything—and it'll be soon—and I know it's a lot to ask, but I just need you to be patient with me for awhile."

He heaved a sigh and rubbed his hands over his eyes. When he looked back at her his expression was tired, but at last he nodded his agreement.

She wanted to say thanks, but somehow it didn't seem quite enough, so she walked over to him and perched on the edge of the chair next to him, giving him a light kiss and a warm smile. "I'm going to bed, alright—don't stay up working too late."

He looked at her for a moment, but then returned her smile with a somewhat half-hearted one of his own, accepting her overture of normalcy. Alright, so they weren't quite okay—but it was all she could expect for the time being.

* * *

Kagome spent the better part of the next three days alternately spacing out and thinking about her situation and trying to avoid thinking about her situation by burying herself under piles of backlogged paperwork. The latter effort was helped a bit by the fact that Hitomi kept giving her stern looks every time she passed by the open office door—clearly she wasn't particularly happy with Kagome's irresponsible behavior of late, and Kagome couldn't really blame her. She felt incredibly guilty for neglecting her work while off on her adventures, and it gave her a sort of déjà vu feeling, recalling her school days and the disappointed looks she'd gotten from her teachers when they passed back her less-than-stellar test scores and homework grades.

By the time she was finishing up at work late in the evening on the third day, finally beginning to feel at least close to caught up again, she felt she knew in the back of her mind what her decision had to be, though she was reluctant to really admit it to herself: This was her life. This was reality. It wasn't always fun, and it wasn't always exciting, but that was the way it was. She had responsibilities here—she had promises to keep. And in the long run, she told herself, it would be easier and better for everyone this way. After all, what was her alternative? Dumping a sweet, kind, loving husband of five years, a good job, a beautiful house, and a sensible, grown-up life to go chasing demons in the Feudal Era? She couldn't do that. She had to be responsible.

She had to grow up.

She tried to be as quiet as she could as she slipped into the dark house, closing the garage door gently so it wouldn't squeak and wake Kenji. Taking off her heels, she padded into the kitchen and flipped on a light, pausing to glance around the room—there was no one there. A wry chuckle contracted her chest, and she shook her head at her own stupidity. What, had she really expected him to show up? He had told her unequivocally that he would not be coming after her this time—and he was a man of his word. Besides, it would only have made things harder for both of them.

With a yawn and a sigh, she set her purse and shoes on the counter and shrugged out of her tailored coat, going over to poke through the refrigerator for a few leftovers to munch on before bed—she'd been so busy she had completely forgotten about dinner. Oddly enough, she wasn't really even all that hungry—but for some reason she just didn't feel ready to go to bed yet.

After picking at some old, borderline-stale noodle dish for a bit, finally deciding that it wasn't really worth the calories, she dumped the rest in the trash and headed upstairs to change into her pajamas. The floorboards creaked softly beneath her feet, but Kenji's light snores from their bedroom never missed a beat, so she knew he must have been sleeping for awhile, and in no danger of waking up any time soon.

Once changed, she slipped quietly beneath the covers, pulling the comforter up over her shoulder and curling her arm beneath her pillow, contemplating her husband's sleeping profile. She wanted to reach out and run a finger over the rough, dark stubble on his chin, but she was afraid he'd wake up—and she wasn't ready to talk, not just yet. Even so, she could practically feel it beneath her fingers, just thinking about it. She knew every part of him. He had granted her the privilege of sharing himself—sharing his life—with her, body and soul. She knew how he liked his eggs, she knew how to stop him from snoring, she knew the first thing he did when he woke up, she knew what he liked in bed, she even knew what size underwear he wore. And likewise, he knew that as a child she'd had a bee phobia, he knew how to calm her down when she was spitting mad, he knew that she couldn't stand the sight of pink and red next to each other, and he knew just how she liked to be kissed.

But there were things he didn't know. He didn't know she had fallen down a magical well when she was fifteen. He didn't know she was the reincarnation of a powerful priestess. He didn't know that she had spent the better part of her late teens battling mythical creatures and purifying jewel shards with her spiritual powers. And he didn't know that she had been sneaking away to the Sengoku Jidai these past few weeks to visit an old hanyou flame she'd thought she'd snuffed out years ago.

He was a good man. He was one of the kindest, most honest men she had ever known. He didn't deserve to be lied to. She'd never really thought of it as lying—not until now. At first she had just kept from telling him because the subject never really came up—not many conversations came around to, "So, ever slay a giant bat-youkai?" But later she'd found it harder and harder to avoid. Soon she'd found herself giving him the same excuses she had used back in middle school—telling him she'd been ill, and that was why she hadn't been able to spend much time with her friends, or why she'd never joined any clubs, or why she'd missed so many of her classes. And then as time had gone by and things had gotten more serious, finally she'd realized it was just too late to tell him the truth.

And maybe, if she was being completely honest with herself, she'd wanted to keep him separate from all that. Then she could pretend it didn't exist.

But it did exist. It had always existed—and no amount of repression had gotten rid of it. And now she wasn't sure she wanted it to anymore.

She sighed and inched a bit closer, sliding her free hand into his beneath the covers, lacing their fingers together. He shifted slightly in his sleep, and his hand closed around hers gently. It was warm and familiar against her skin, and she smiled slightly. Her heart ached—but not with love. It wasn't love she felt when she looked at Kenji, she now realized—it was longing. She wanted so badly to be the woman he thought she was—the woman she had tried to become. She wanted so badly to be normal and grown up and practical, like she was supposed to be—if not for herself, then for him. He deserved that much. But she wasn't like that. And no amount of trying would ever change it.

Period.

Suddenly, she wasn't the least bit tired anymore. She got up out of bed and started pacing back and forth across the room, her palms pressed together in front of her face as her mind raced. What now? Finally, without a doubt, she knew what she wanted—but was it too late to get it? Her eyes darted to the digital clock on the bedside table—it was after one in the morning, on the fourth day. She paused in her tracks, flirting with panic, but quickly shook it away; she couldn't give up just because of a silly little thing like that, not now that her head was finally clear. Inuyasha would understand, he would take her back—she knew it. He had to. But there was something she had to do first, before she could even begin to think about Inuyasha.

Quickly and quietly she changed back out of her pajamas and into a pair of jeans and a sweater before slipping downstairs to her office. There she scrounged up a few pieces of stationary and a pen and began to write:

_Dear Kenji,_

_I need to tell you a story…_

It took her most of the night to finish it, everything from beginning to end, from the day she'd been dragged into the well when she was fifteen to when she had left the Feudal Era only a few days previous. Part of her felt guilty for being too much of a coward to stay and tell him the truth in person—but there was no time. And anyway, somehow it all seemed more believable when it was written down.

_I'm sorry I never told you all this_, she wrote. _I'm sorry it's taken me this long to realize the truth. I'm sorry I couldn't find the courage to explain all this to your face. I'm sorry for hurting you. But in the long run, I think this is the best thing for both of us. Maybe I'm just chasing a fantasy—maybe these feelings I've rediscovered won't last—but all I know is that it's something I need to find out for myself. And even if they don't last, I think we both know that they couldn't exist at all if you and I were really meant for each other._

_Forgive me. Be happy. I'll speak to you soon, I promise._

—_Kagome_

She left the letter on the kitchen counter, only pausing to grab her purse and a pair of sneakers before getting into her car and heading for the other side of town. The sky was just beginning to grow light as she pulled up in front of the shrine, and she took the steps two at a time in her haste to reach the grounds. Without a second thought she bypassed the house and headed directly for the well.

It was only as she perched herself on the edge, fingers clutching the rough, weathered wood, that her fears overrode her adrenaline and came back to her in full force. What would Inuyasha do when she arrived? How would he react? Had he really meant it when he'd said he would put her behind him? Would he give her another chance? Was it too late?

She couldn't think about that. If she did, she wouldn't be able to do what she had to do. So she firmly pushed all her doubts and fears to the back of her mind, gathered her nerve, and shoved herself off of her perch and into the time-slip.

The dim, pre-dawn light made it rather more difficult than usual to make her way up out of the well, but she managed it without actually falling on her ass, which she considered a minor victory. She was just brushing the dirt from her jeans and enjoying the feeling of being on solid ground again when a movement in the corner of her eye made her gasp and take a step backward, nearly stumbling back into the well.

"Inuyasha," she whispered in relief, clutching at her hammering heart as she recognized his form.

He merely stared at her impassively, arms crossed over his chest. "You're late," he said finally, neither his voice nor his expression betraying anything of his thoughts.

She shrugged, giving him a small smile, which he didn't return. "Better late than never."

He still didn't react, though his expression had turned slightly wary. "What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice still serious.

"Isn't it obvious?" she asked meekly. "I came to…to ask you to let me stay."

"Why," he said, his tone slightly sharper now, almost accusing, "you want to jerk me around awhile longer while you're still waffling over your decision?"

"No," she said quickly, taking a step toward him. "No, that's not it at all. I've…I've already made my decision."

His eyes narrowed slightly, as if suspecting a lie. "What do you mean?"

"I left him," she replied seriously—and then a small, bemused smile crossed her face. "I don't know why it took me so long. I guess I was just afraid, you know? I mean, I thought I'd had everything figured out there for awhile, and then…and then you showed up again, and suddenly nothing made any sense anymore, and it really scared me. Even now, these past three days, I tried so hard to convince myself that the best thing to do would just be to forget about you—and I almost let myself believe it too. But then last night I got to thinking, and I realized I didn't want to forget about you. I like it here, and I like who I am when I'm around you, and I don't care if it's messy and confusing and it doesn't make any sense, because—I love you, Inuyasha. That's the only thing that makes sense to me anymore."

He stared at her for what seemed like an eternity, but she didn't look away. When he took a slow step towards her at last, she had to school herself to keep from flinching, afraid that he would just walk on past her, without a word—but he didn't. Instead, he came to a stop about six inches in front of her, still looking her straight in the eye with that inscrutable expression. But now that she could see him close up, she could see a softness in his eyes as well, though she still couldn't read what he was thinking. Then he lifted a hand to her chin and bent down to press a gentle kiss to her lips.

She drew in a breath in surprise, but the moment she realized what was happening she melted against him willingly, bringing her hands up to his chest and slowly winding them around his shoulders. His hand moved from her cheek to delve into her hair, which she realized she hadn't thought to comb before she'd left the house—but he didn't seem to mind. His free arm wound around her waist and pulled her against him as he deepened the kiss, and she swore she could actually feel the blood pumping from her heart, warming her from head to toe the longer she spent in his embrace.

The kisses slowed, but neither one made a move to separate. Finally, Kagome opened her eyes to look into his, unable to suppress the relieved smile that spread across her face. In spite of himself, Inuyasha's mouth quirked upward at the ends as well. "I knew you'd come back," he murmured cockily, and she slanted him a skeptical look. He rolled his eyes in defeat and amended, "Okay, I didn't. But I hoped you would."

She grinned at that and pushed herself up on tiptoe to kiss him again.

* * *

**Epilogue**

It was a relatively small office—though perhaps it seemed smaller than it was because of all the boxes of case files and documents that were stacked in the corners and in front of the bookcase that sat to the right of the door. The wall of windows opposite the door looked out across the invisible street below to another glass-fronted office building full of tiny, cluttered offices just like this one. When she knocked on the doorjamb and stepped tentatively inside, Mr. Takahashi looked up from the papers he was reviewing at his desk to her left and gave her a kind smile. "Mrs. Sakamoto," he greeted, standing up to give her a small bow as she crossed to the desk, "lovely to see you again. Or do you prefer Ms. Higurashi?"

She gave him a somewhat grim smile, but he didn't seem to really expect an answer, so she didn't bother.

"Well," he continued, resuming his seat and motioning toward one of the chairs across from him, "everything seems to be in order here—not that we really expected it to be otherwise. All that's left is for—" he broke off, looking at someone over her shoulder. "Mr. Sakamoto, come right in," he welcomed with that same friendly smile he had given her.

Kagome couldn't quite bring herself to look directly at Kenji as he settled quietly into the chair next to her—but his crisp charcoal suit and ice-blue tie made her feel distinctly frumpy in her jeans and cotton shirt. She supposed he must have come from the office—she'd forgotten it was a weekday. It had been hard for her to keep track lately, ever since she'd left her job at the publishing house.

"As I was just telling Mrs. Sakamoto, everything seems to be in order, and if you two would just sign where indicated," he passed a small sheaf of papers to each of them, pointing out the color-coded tabs marking the signature lines, "you can consider yourselves officially divorced."

They each picked up a pen and began shuffling through the documents. Kagome skimmed a few paragraphs here and there out of habit, but she already knew what they said: basically, he kept everything, and she kept nothing. Not because he'd been vindictive (which he hadn't) and she felt guilty (which she did), but because she really didn't want any of it. The house, the cars, even their brand new four-slice toaster—it was all just part of something she had tried to make fit. None of it was really hers. In the end, she came away from the marriage with nothing more than she'd had when she went into it—except, perhaps, for a little perspective and self-awareness. And if that was what it had taken to get her to where she was now, she had no regrets—not for herself anyway.

When they each finished their half of the papers, they traded and signed the other half. Finally, they both put down their pens and handed the documents back to Mr. Takahashi, who stacked them up in the proper order and rapped the edges on the desk to straighten them. "That's it folks—that's all I need," he said with the cheerful air of someone telling them they'd just finished purchasing a brand-new BMW. "We'll have these filed and you'll receive your copies in a few weeks."

That was their cue to leave, so they both got to their feet and expressed their gratitude before exiting the office. Once out in the hallway, they fell in step with one another as they headed toward the elevator, though neither said a word. He reached the elevator bay just ahead of her, so he pressed the call button and stepped back, hands in his pockets. She rested a hand on her purse strap and glanced up at the space above the elevator doors where there would have been a floor indicator if they had been in the lobby. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him shift his weight back onto his heels. A small "ding" signaled the arrival of the elevator, and they stepped inside, facing front.

After the doors closed and they began moving down, she finally worked up the nerve to look at his face. He didn't return her gaze, but she knew he was aware of her. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. She'd said it what seemed like a million times over the past few months, but somehow she felt it bore repeating.

"I know," he replied flatly, still not looking at her.

"Really, I am. I mean, if there were any way I could—"

"Kagome," he interrupted, turning to her at last, "I know." His eyes looked more weary than anything else. "It's okay. Well, no," he amended, "it's not okay. It sucks. Sometimes it makes me so mad I almost wish I'd never met you."

She pressed her lips together, slightly stung, but knowing very well that she deserved it.

Then he glanced at her again, his gaze softening somewhat, as if in resignation. "Almost."

The elevator came to a halt and the doors slid open. He lingered only a moment before turning and stepping out into the lobby. She hesitated a bit longer before deciding to follow him.

She caught up to him on the sidewalk just outside the front doors. "Kenji," she said, standing before him and looking him directly in the eye, "I don't know if I ever really said this to you, but…thank you. I know things haven't turned out at all the way we planned, and I've made a lot of mistakes, but…I don't consider being with you one of them. Whatever else may have happened, I know I wouldn't be who I am right now if it weren't for you."

A morose shadow of a smile twitched at his lips at that—and then he caught sight of something over her shoulder, and his gaze turned pensive. "That him?" he asked, nodding toward the object of his scrutiny.

She looked around to find Inuyasha—dressed uncharacteristically in jeans and a grey Tokyo U t-shirt (she supposed it must have been one of Souta's), a black baseball cap covering his ears—watching them closely from several yards down the block, and she couldn't quite suppress a little smile. "Yeah, that's him," she answered, turning back to Kenji.

"You weren't kidding about those features—he looks like a biker or something."

"I know. Acts like one too, half the time. He's really not a bad guy when you get to know him, though."

Kenji nodded thoughtfully, then flicked his eyes back to Kagome seriously. "Does he make you happy?"

She nodded solemnly, telling nothing but the truth.

"Good," he replied simply.

She gave him a small smile, and then—hoping her hanyou would remain a docile puppy for just a few moments longer—she leaned up to give Kenji a kiss on the cheek. They looked at each other a moment longer, clasping hands gently in silent farewell, and then he turned and headed off down the street.

After he disappeared around the corner, Kagome turned to walk back down the block towards Inuyasha, who pushed off from the wall and met her halfway.

"Thanks," she said to him as they fell in step, continuing down the sidewalk.

"For what?"

"For not interrupting."

"Feh," he scoffed, "I'm not a complete jerk, Kagome."

She glanced over at him in half-serious appraisal. "You know, that's true. Maybe you have matured a little these past eight years."

"Feh," he scoffed again. "At least one of us did. Hey, mind if we go get some ramen? I'm starved."

She laughed. "You want more ramen? You've eaten practically nothing else for the last three months."

"What, it's good," he justified simply.

She shook her head in amusement, still smiling wryly. "I guess it's true what they say—absence makes the heart grow fonder."

He frowned over at her. "Who says that?"

"People," she replied vaguely, shrugging. "But I've never really believed it."

"Oh? So you're saying you don't love me twenty times more now than you did before you left?" he teased.

"No," she said with a laugh, "but in our case it doesn't count."

"How do you figure that?"

She glanced over at him with a sly smile. "Because I never really left."

He returned the grin and conceded with a nod, "You got a point there."

Then, in a moment of playfulness, she grabbed him by the forelocks and tugged him forward for a kiss, enjoying the way his hands rested easily at her waist, and his jaw moved gently against hers.

"What was that for?" he asked slightly blurrily when she pulled back.

She shrugged. "Because I can. I'm a free woman now, remember?" His smile faded slightly at that, and her brow lowered in concern. "What?"

He looked back at her seriously. "Are you okay, Kagome? I mean, with all this."

She let out a breath in a rush, an affectionate smile spreading across her face as she moved her hands to rest gently on his cheeks. "Yes," she replied sincerely, looking him in the eye.

He peered at her a moment longer, apparently watching for any signs of doubt or uncertainty. Finding none, he grinned once more and kissed her again.

When they broke apart again she gave him a genuine smile. "Come on, Inuyasha," she said, nudging him into a slight crouch so she could hop up onto his back, giving no thought to the strange looks she knew she must be getting from other passers-by, "let's go home." When he took to the rooftops, the ground falling away from them at superhuman speed, she tightened her hold on his shoulders instinctively. With the breeze and the eclectic scenery of modern Tokyo speeding by them, a little smile curved her lips as she rested her chin on Inuyasha's shoulder and snuggled closer, closing her eyes and enjoying the ride.

* * *

**A/N:** Well, this has been quite a journey! For such a relatively short story (posted in such a relatively short time), it's been a long evolution from the beginning of the idea over three years ago to the final result you see before you. I'm tempted to go into a detailed explanation of how all the various aspects of this story evolved into what they are, but I have a feeling it would end up being longer than the chapter itself, so I won't. If anyone is interested, email me, and I'll chew your ear off for awhile (--grin--). Overall, I'm really quite happy with the way it turned out—there's still a rough spot or two here and there, things I never quite got to work as well as I wanted them to (the Kenji scene at the beginning of this chapter was one of the most problematic in the entire story—must have rewritten it completely five or six different times), but in the end I'm satisfied. That's a nice feeling.

Incidentally, as a general rule, I really don't write sequels—but if there were ever a story I might consider "sequeling," it would probably be this one. I actually have a couple of rough ideas (mainly things that occurred to me while writing this story, but didn't really fit the arc of the plot well enough to justify including them) that might turn into a shorter sort of sequel/companion piece at some point down the road. No promises—if it turns out badly, I won't post it—but it's a possibility.

Anyway, thanks again for all your support, and I hope you've enjoyed reading this story as much as I've enjoyed writing it. As for the future, I've got a few other pieces in progress (mostly oneshots of various shapes and sizes), some of which are close to completion, so hopefully you'll be seeing more from me in the near future… (--grin--)


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